Hair ... What Did I Do to Deserve This?

So whom do I make an appointment to see if I have a complaint about the status of hair in men as we grow older?

Why do we lose the hair on our heads, while the hair in our nose, on our ears and eyebrows, on our face, and all over the rest of our body grows longer and bushier and whiter and curlier and coarser and ... and ... aargh!