Sleepus Dreamus Interruptus

Here we go (went?) again.

Before we retired to bed last night, I told the wife that I wanted to do a couple of things this morning, including getting a haircut and picking up our prescription meds at Costco.

As usual, she said she wanted to come along with me, after which, could I please drop her and her mom at the beauty shop in the early afternoon, wait for their call, and then pick them up. Please? You know I'm a nice guy ... I said okay. 

This morning, she got out of bed around 7:30 and pronounced her hunger. I slowly opened my eyes and muttered, "Okay," and promptly fell back to sleep.

About an hour later, she came into the room, kicked the bed, and said, "Aren't you going to take me to breakfast?" I guess I was, wasn't I? So I got out of bed and did my morning thing, and was sitting at the steering wheel in no time.

See? I'm a nice guy. But I did have one thing to tell her ... why didn't she tell me she wanted to go out to breakfast when she woke me up the first time? See, while I was in my early morning slumber, I dreamed of making myself a lovely omelet, and had my mouth and tummy set on it.

Sometimes I feel as though I need to give her a class in "Advising Craig 101."

Coining a Phrase

Some nice person left me a coin the other day, placing it on my windshield wiper when I went grocery shopping at Manoa Marketplace.

“Where will you spend eternity?” the coin asked me, referring me to the Bible passage John 3:16: For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

It reminded me of the rainbow shaved-ice hair guy who used to pop up in the background of sports events, particularly football games, holding up a sign with “John 3:16” on it.

The coin was made of aluminum so I did the right thing after taking its picture. I put it in the recycling bin because I’m a responsible citizen who wants to conserve the natural resources provided for us by our Maker.

Waiter! There's a Hair ...

So you went to a fancy dancy restaurant and found a hair in your food.
Is that bad? Of course it is. But is it unhealthy? Well, maybe not. At least the U.S. Food and Drug Administration doesn't think so.

They haven't found any evidence of people getting sick from eating hair that's found its way into their food. In fact, they don't even have any guidelines in its Food Code.

Hair is mostly keratin, which is chemically inactive. Diarrhea-causing bacteria are very unlikely to cling to it and enter your system. You'll need to eat a whole headful of hair to be affected by it. You know, like your cat's hairballs ("trichobezoars").

And did you know that food manufacturers use an amino acid found in keratin - L-cysteine - to stabilize dough and stimulate your taste buds? Sure, you knew that, didn't you? They usually get it from duck feathers, but sometimes they get it from human hair.

So relax! Next time you find a hair in your food, just remember that according to the FDA, it's okay to have up to two maggots per can of tomatoes, and 30 or more insect parts in three tablespoons of peanut butter.

I kid you not.

Ewwwwww! Waiter! Waiter!

USC 50, UCLA 0

Oh how sweet it is. The USC Trojans put a major whomping on the UCLA Bruins last night in the biggest football game of the year. If this year's regular season crosstown Los Angeles rivalry proved anything, it was that USC is the real deal, and UCLA is not.

USC demolished UCLA 50-0, the Trojans' fifth straight win, and the largest margin of victory in the series since 1930. That's 81 years ago.

The USC offense rushed for 149 yards (15 more than UCLA) and passed for 424 yards (164 more than UCLA). Running back Curtis McNeal ripped off a 73-yard scamper to score USC's second TD, which followed the Trojans' opening drive that ended with USC scoring the game's first TD in only four plays.

Sophomore Robert Woods caught 12 passes for 113 yards and 2 touchdowns (just another of his stellar performances), and freshman Marqise Lee caught 13 for 224 yards and 2 touchdowns (just another of HIS stellar performances).

Which brings us to junior quarterback Matt Barkley, whose numbers certainly boosted his chances to be invited to the Dec. 10 Heisman Trophy presentation ceremonies in New York. Barkley tossed six touchdown passes against a feeble UCLA secondary, tieing his school record. He's completed 39 touchdown passes this season, a Pac-12 Conference single-season record.

Barkley's statistics in the game: He completed 35 of 42 passes (a school record) for 423 yards, six touchdowns and no interceptions. His last completion of the game was to his cousin, Robbie Boyer, a walk-on catching his first pass of the year. How sweet was that? The USC sideline erupted in cheers of delight!

UCLA came close to scoring at least three times, but was denied by the Trojans' magnificent defense.

And so a demoralized UCLA will go to the Pac-12 championship game on Friday night against the Oregon Ducks, north division champs. USC can't represent the south, although the Trojans had the best record (7-2 in the conference), because of the NCAA "no-bowl for three years" sanctions.

Last night's game was our final game of the season, and we Trojan fans are happy with the results. The most important game to win is the UCLA game. As long as we beat Notre Dame and UCLA, we can consider it a good season.

Matt Barkley came off the field to a thunderous ovation, and the overwhelmingly loud chant of "One more year!" ... the fans hoping he chooses to finish his senior year at USC and take the school forth in its quest for a national championship. Because ... it's likely he may leave for the NFL.

Wouldn't UCLA hate it if he stayed? You betcha!

Fight on!

Shake Shake Shake!

There ain't nothing like a wet dog to douse you with water. Ol' Fido, when he's a shakin' and a shimmyin', can get you as wet as a spray from your garden hose. I'm sure most of us have experienced that thrill at one time or another.

That inborn technique is rather efficient too. A professor at the Georgia Institute of Technology actually studies canine (and other mammalian) tecniques for drying off. He's trying to come up with a mechanical means that does as good a job as the animals.

He's found that a washing machine's spin cycle has to go at it constantly for 10 minutes before it can remove an equivalent amount of water as a shaking dog does in a few seconds.

Doggies twist their spines about 30 degrees with each shake, but their loose skin turns that into 100 degrees in each direction. Centripetal force overcomes the water's surface tension, breaking it away from the fur.

So someday, when you buy a washing machine and put it to work for the first time, don't be surprised if it starts jerking around in a snapping motions. You can thank assistant professor David Hu for that.

Mr. Monk

I never really watched the television series Monk when it was showing on USA Network … bumped into it a couple of times while I was channel surfing, but never stopped to watch an entire episode.

However, thanks to author Lee Goldberg and his Mr. Monk series of novels based on the Tony Shalhoub character, I’m now hooked on the blasted thing.

I’d read a number of Goldberg’s books, and the one that got me started on the Monk kick was Mr. Monk in Trouble. Since then, I’ve bought the season 1 DVD and am now DVR-ing all the Monk episodes I can find on cable (and there are a lot).

Adrian Monk is a basket case – he has 312 phobias, ranging from milk to dirt, from closed spaces to snakes. And, to top it all off, he has a pretty nasty case of obsessive-compulsive disorder. All of those, taken in and of themselves, make him a pretty pitiful character.

But the thing is, it’s funny. And … he’s a brilliant detective. And, and … he can’t help but stumble onto mysteries wherever he goes, no matter the occasion. And, and, and … he solves them all.

He’s got some help – during its run from 2002 to 2009, Adrian Monk had two assistants. The first, Sharona Fleming (Bitty Schram), started off as his nurse, helping him get through the violent death of his wife, Trudy. The second, Natalie Teeger (Traylor Howard), entered the series in the middle of season 3, when Bitty Schram was dropped because of a salary conflict.

Monk works alongside his former partner, Capt. Leland Stottlemeyer (Ted Levine) of the San Francisco Police Department, and Stottlemeyer’s current partner, Lt. Randy Disher (Jaon Gray-Stanford). Stottlemeyer is down-to-earth and open to Monk’s revelations; Disher is out of left field much of the time.

As musician Randy Newman, who wrote and sang the Emmy-winning theme song, It’s a Jungle Out There, sings during the opening credits: “It’s a jungle out there, Disorder and confusion everywhere!” And that describes Adrian Monk’s life to a T.

Now … if you don't mind, I have to get more of Lee Goldberg’s Mr. Monk books for my Kindle.

The Truth About Brain Freeze

Eat ice cream too fast and you get it. Slurp an Icee slurpee too fast and you get it. Brain freeze, that is. Your sinuses pound, your eyes hurt, your brain goes into convulsions.

And then, when your brain returns to its normal function, you start to worry. The obvious question to ask is, “What did that do to my brain? Is it permanently damaged?”

We may never find out for sure scientifically, as the National Institutes of Health has not made any effort to fund research on the matter. But some neurosurgeons at Johns Hopkins Hospital did some experimentation.

Although the brain’s temperature was dropped as low as 64°, they found no harm done once they returned the brain to normal temperature (around 98.6° as we all know).

So … bear with the pain. That tasty milk shake is worth it. Every brain-chilling drop of it.

The Perils of LOL-ing

Hmmm, Mom is on Facebook now. Uh oh. Hope someone clued her in on what not to do!

Mid-Morning Seas

Click on Picture for Panoramic View

Thank you for bearing with me these past couple of days as I cleaned out my Wandering file and "entertained" you with my comments about pee and poo.

As a reward for your kindness, here's a shot I took of the waters near Ala Moana Beach Park one morning as the wife and I walked along the sea wall at the ocean end of Magic Island.

The ominous nature of the clouds offered a certain majesty to the surf as it rumbled closer in the glare of the mid-morning sun.

Lucky I live Hawaii, eh? Enjoy!

Parky Pooper

Since I wrote about asparagus pee smells yesterday, I thought I'd continue the "excretory" theme just one more day (y'know, get it all out at once?) and show you this picture.

I took the shot in the garage of Kuakini Medical Center recently. We couldn't help but see it, as it was right outside the garage walkover entrance to the Physician's Office Building.

Where did this person park anyway before coming to the hospital? It must have been under a tree or a telephone or electrical wire because the birds had a field day on the car.

Now, if it were me, I could never drive a car in that condition. I don't care how sick I was, if I came to the car and saw that, the first thing I'd do is drive to a car wash. No matter how sick I was, no matter how late it would make me for my doctor's appointment.

I mean ... really now.

Asparagus' Smelly Side Effect

Do you like asparagus? I do. And if YOU do, you may be one of the 40 to 50% of the populace who notice a distinct odor when you go to the bathroom afterwards.

Did you see the 1978 movie, Rabbit Test, starring Billy Crystal and directed by Joan Rivers? In her cameo role as a doctor, she asks a patient, “You ate asparagus, didn’t you?” I don’t remember much from that lame-brain comedy where a guy gets pregnant, but I do remember that line.

Ever since people first noticed asparagus produced smelly urine scientists have been trying to figure out exactly why the body produces that effect when the vegetable is digested. You know what? From what I’ve read, they still aren’t sure of what chemical compounds create the smell.

Despite that unpleasant side effect, I like asparagus.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Piece of Mind

At last, you now have a chance to meet the late, great Albert Einstein and get a piece of his mind.

Well, not exactly, but pieces of his brain will be on public display at the Mutter Museum of the College of Physicians in Philadelphia, where Lucy Rorke-Adams has given some 46 slides of Einstein’s brain for the public to enjoy.

Ms. Rorke-Adams, 82, is a neuropathologist who for the past 47 years has worked at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, attests that Einstein’s brain looks pretty youthful for someone who died at 76 (1955, when I was 11 years old).

Most of his brain resides at the University Medical Center in Princeton. That’s where the post-mortem autopsy of the man I regard as a member of Homo superius was conducted.

One of these days, I’m going to have to read what he said about relativity. I’d like to know more about my relations.

Avian Sentinels

(Left) Waterfront Park ... (Right) Almaden Park

Water seeks its lowest level. Birds, on the other hand, always seem to seek the highest level. It doesn't matter where they're from, they perch high up. At least these two birds did.

The bird on the right is a dove, photographed at Kakaako Waterfront Park in Honolulu. The bird on the left is a hummingbird, photographed at Almaden Winery Park in San Jose.

Because it was a gray and cloudy day in San Jose, the hummingbird looks ominous. Not so the dove. It was a beauiful day in Hawaii.

Guess where I'd rather be living.

Who da Guy?

While having breakfast at Big City Diner on Waialae Avenue in Kaimuki one morning with the wife, I checked out the autographed pictures on the wall behind her.

Interesting! There were a few Miss Hawaiis, some well-known entertainers, and a few people that I recognized from local Hawaii television commercials.

Right behind the wife, however, was a person I didn’t recognize. I could read part of his name – “Bobby” something – but that didn’t ring a bell. Neither did he look familiar. The wife took a shot at it and gave up as well.

So I did the most unmanly thing – I asked. Not for directions, because that would be HORRIBLY unmanly, but for identification. You know what? The waitress had no idea and had to ask her manager.

It turns out the mysterious guy is Bobby Curran, who’s been the radio voice of the University of Hawaii sports for 15 years.

Well that figures. No wonder I had no idea who he was. I don’t follow University of Hawaii sports.

But at least now I know who he is.

Sharing ... Costco Style

I can sympathize, having bought wagonloads of outsized boxes and packages of good stuff at Costco. Never saw a cashew jar that big, though. If I had, I'd probably have one like it at home right now.

And a month from now, I'd have to throw away at least half. Why do we torture ourselves thinking we'll eat all of what we buy at Costco?

Which reminds me, I'm running short of stuff. Damn, I might need to go to Costco this week.

In With the New

Hiroshi Sakurada at Sakura-Ya Welcome Gathering

... and out with the old. George's Delicatessen, which had been in business for a half-century or so in Honolulu, closed its doors a few years ago, and the Ueda family recently ended a long search for a successor food establishment.

Sakura-Ya, which specializes in Japanese bento, okazu and creative sushi, opened its doors for business on Friday, Nov. 11 (11/11/11), fulfilling a dream of owners Hiroshi and Keiko Sakurada to move from the East Coast to Hawaii.

Keiko cooks the okazu, and Hiro creates the sushi. We were honored to receive an invitation to a welcome gathering Sunday evening at the old George's location - 1317 S. Beretania St. - and were treated to some of their creations.

What a wonderful little dinner we had. Keiko couldn't stop talking about Hiro's success in creative sushi, showing me a story in the New Jersey Record about his prowess. And, I learned, Hiro once won a sushi competition. Visit them, and I'm sure Keiko or Hiro will tell you all about it.

Let me tell you, the sushi he made for us that night was delicious, guaranteed to delight his customers with a mix of local flavors and sophisticated unusual sushi. My favorite was the mackeral sushi. Absolutely "holy"! I can, with great enthusiasm, recommend that you try them out.

Sakura-Ya Bento, Okazu, Sushi ... 1317 S. Beretanis St., just ewa of Keeaumoku. (808) 597-8069.

Ahh, To Be Young Again

Being a young and foolish lad was a great period in my life, as I'm sure it was when you were a teenager.

Some of my fondest memories of junior high nights in my hometown of Hilo, on the Big Island of Hawaii, is when my friends and I jumped into the ice-cold India ink-night waters of Lanai Pond near the Canec Mill in our altogethers.

During a recent walk at Kakaako Waterfront Park, the wife and I saw some young people jumping into the canal between the park and some warehouses, just a-splashin' and having the time of their lives.

No matter that official government signs warned them of danger and implored them not to go beyond the wire fence, no matter that common sense dictated that they exercise some level-headedness, they were bound and determined to have fun.

You know what? I envied them. Youth ... it's blessed upon the young, and hidden in our memories.

Tale of a Tail

Or rather, a lack of a tail.

The more barred doves (aka zebra doves) I see during my walks at the beach parks, the more varieties I come across.

Check out this tail-less variety. Zebradovus notailus. It's rare, it's the first of its kind I've seen.

All kidding aside, I wonder what happened to this poor thing. And so I speculate: Maybe it got into a fight with a bigger dove (I've seen spotted doves chase and peck at their smaller cousins until feathers fly). Maybe it has a genetic deficiency? I doubt that; a baby tail-less dove wouldn't survive to this size, I think.

Maybe some hipster dove talked him (or her) into getting his (or her) tail feathers plucked. Y'know, the way women have their eyebrows plucked. A dove cosmetician, perhaps?

Nah. That's too silly to even mention. So I won't.

Still ...

Night Beauty

The last time I was in Las Vegas, I had dinner at Maggiano's in Fashion Show Mall, with a stunning view of the Las Vegas Strip. After dinner, I strolled along the second-floor outdoor walkway and shot a couple of pictures of neighboring resorts.

The boulevard is beautiful at night, especially when one concentrates on the lit buildings one at a time. Taken in total, looking down the Strip gives one an ambivalent feeling - there's just too much going on. However, check out the resorts one at a time and voila! Elegance.

The Wynn Resort

The Palazzo Resort

It sort of gives you the feeling that you need to go back to your room and put on a tuxedo.

"The name is Bond. James Bond."

Random Musings 13

Why are some clouds are so lazy that they don’t even try to create shapes?

* * * * *

I wonder if there’s a big market for dog houses with fire hydrants in them. Hmmmm?

* * * * *

If a deer waves a white flag of truce, is it still kosher for a deer hunter to shoot him?

* * * * *

The arrival of fall means the days are getting shorter. Is that bad news? How can it be, when Mondays are getting shorter too?

* * * * *

Speaking of fall, I hate raking up fallen dry leaves off the ground. Maybe I should carry a basket and run around so I can catch them as they fall?

Roger Mooking

One of the celebrity cooks that I enjoy watching on the Cooking Channel is Roger Mooking, star of Everyday Exotic.

That young man has a particular way with flavoring, introducing his viewers to nicely created dishes, with some unusual combinations of ingredients and different spices.

That’s not to say that his dishes are always spicy (as in hot). They are mostly unusual, however, especially to non-Asian or non-West Indies palates. Talk about having a multi-national sense of flavors! He lives in Canada (since age 5), he has a partially Chinese heritage, and he was born in Trinidad.

Mooking has a joyous style in his presentations, often appearing as though he’s playing with his food while cooking. I enjoy watching him taste his food – the way he holds the fork or spoon while directing the food into his mouth makes me smile.

He is also currently appearing (and heavily tearing up) on the Food Channel’s Heat Seekers with fellow chili addict Aaron Sanchez.

Bellagio's Autumn Exhibit

Click Picture for Larger Panoramic View

After breakfast at the Bellagio Cafe, I wandered around the Bellagio resort's Conservatory for about an hour, taking in the beautiful floral and whimsical scenarios put together by some mighty creative folks.

Visitors from all over the world were ooo-ing and aaah-ing at the creations, everyone drawing upon their own particular memories and experiences in life ... some nostalgic, some wishful, but most happy, I'm sure.

But enough talk. Look!

Talking Apple Tree

Working Cider Mill

Relaxing Topiary Horse

Bountiful Cornucopia

I can't wait to see what they're going to create the next time I visit Las Vegas.

Fall Flowers!

It was as though someone had thrown a blanket of flowers onto the ground and bade me to spread myself amongst the splendiferous beauty that they offered ... thousands, many thousands of flowers, just for you and me.

It wasn't the poppy field of The Wizard of Oz, where Dorothy and her friends nearly succumbed to the intoxicating spell of the Wicked Witch of the West. But it was just as beautiful, and it held me captive for quite a spell.

Enjoy!

Chrysanthemums (Pelee)

Yellow Celosia

Chrysanthemums (Dazzling New York)

Tomorrow: The final Bellagio Conservatory pictures. Be there, or be square!

Pumpkins!

The Bellagio (hotel and casino) in Las Vegas is always a visitor favorite. It's a classy place, and every time I'm in Vegas, I try to check out what's on display at their Conservatory.

Depending on the season and whatever holiday is upcoming, the theme changes often. This being autumn, they featured awe-inspiring and whimsical fall scenes that help visitors get into the spirit of Thanksgiving.

I photographed quite a few scenes ... today I thought I'd share some pumpkins with you:

Pumpkins Galore!

A Wagon-Load of Pumpkins

An 835-Pound Pumpkin

Now excuse me, I think I'll go talk the wife into making some of her delicious pumpkin pie. I'll be back with more Conservatory pictures tomorrow. I promise.

Season’s Best Kaimuki Craft and Gift Fair

Click on picture

The holiday season gift fair season is in full swing, and yesterday, the wife and I went to the “Season’s Best Kaimuki Craft and Gift Fair” for the first time ever.

Occupying every square inch of space at Aliiolani Elementary School were about 150 vendors of all kinds – homemade snacks, food, trinkets, Hawaiian ornaments, locally made tee shirts, dress blouses, aloha shirts, key chains, Hello Kitty, Angry Bird, other toon characters … you name it, somebody probably was selling it.

Jeez, were there a lot of people there … actually more than enough to make me uncomfortable (I hate walking sideways in a shuffle, trying to squeeze between people and getting my sandal-protected toes stepped on).

Still, it was a good opportunity to checking things out and do some of our Christmas shopping, which we did. We mostly stuck to the locally made items, for isn’t that what these fairs are supposed to do? Promote locally made small-business products, that is?

I was so busy wandering and buying stuff (including 10 langoustine lobster tails for $20) that I didn’t take a lot of pictures … but I did take some. Here are a few:

There’s another show next Saturday closer to us – the Nohelani School fair in Manoa. Somehow I have a feeling we’ll be going to that one too.

See ya there.

Blinded by the Light

I’m sure you’ve heard Blinded by the Light by Manfred Mann’s Earth Band. I heard it on the radio again the other day and started to sing along … or at least I THOUGHT I was singing along with the correct lyrics.

See, all this time, all these many years, I thought the chorus was:

Blinded by the light,

Wrapped up like a douche

In the middle of the night. 

… and I could never figure out why (or how) someone could wrap up a douche, especially in the middle of the night when s/he should be sleeping.

So I checked out the lyrics yesterday just to make sure. Turns out the correct lines are:

Blinded by the light,

Revved up like a deuce,

Another runner in the night. 

Good grief. I felt like a douche in the middle of the night.

Jackpot!

Didja ever hit a fairly substantial jackpot on a Las Vegas slot machine?

Every time I go to Las Vegas, I devote $100 to playing Megabucks. Been doing this for years, 'cause even though the odds are 280,000,000 to 1 that I won't hit the multi-million-dollar Megabucks jackpot, one can't win if one doesn't play.

Once at Lake Tahoe in 2001, I hit $750 on a Megabucks machine and the way it beeped and tooted and wailed, you'd think I hit the big one. It was so loud and ostentatious that I attracted quite a crowd - a crowd that turned away disappointed when they saw I'd only won $750.

Still, it was big enough for me to quit playing and wait an hour or so twiddling my thumbs until my friends all met at the appointed place at the appointed hour.

This last trip to Las Vegas, I hit a nice one on the Megabucks machine. Again, it wasn't the life-altering progressive jackpot of $10.9 million (not even a five-figure jackpot), but it was a good win, making the whole trip worthwhile.

So ... I hit a three-figure Megabucks jackpot in 2001, and 10 years later, I hit a four-figure Megabucks jackpot. Maybe 10 years from now, in 2021, I'll hit a bigger one?

Stay tuned.

Stoked on Coke (a-Cola)

The wife and I were turned on to a wonderful cafe not too far from our home this past week - Kit n Kitchen. It's one of those small local cafes that are so prevalent on the mainland, yet hard to find in Honolulu.
One of the things that intrigued me was the collection of Coca-Cola bottles and cans, all full of the terrific beverage, that graced the back wall of the restaurant.
According to owner Kit Yiu, it's the result of 30 years of collecting, augmented by gifts by customers and friends. Don't you love it when a proprietor shares his/her passion with his/her patrons?
I really appreciate it, myself.
Hmmm ... I have a six-pack of Mickey's Toontown Coca-Cola bottles imprinted with the Foodland (Honolulu) logo. I wonder if he'd like to have it ... gotta think about that one.

They Should Hire Me

Sometimes I surprise myself with the pictures I take. Everything works out the way it's supposed to, the sun is bright and at the right angle, the sky is clear with maybe a few wisps of feathery clouds, the flowers are in bloom, and nobody gets in my way.

I had one of those rare experiences last week when I was in Las Vegas. So from one vantage point -the Wynn Resort rose garden and pond at the corner of South Las Vegas Boulevard ("The Strip") and Sands Avenue - I whipped out my Sony CyberShot and had at it.


"The Cloud" at Fashion Show Mall on the Las Vegas Strip

Wynn Resort Tower from the rose garden on the Las Vegas Strip

What can I say? I am so-o-o satisfied with the results. They should hire me, no? LOL.

Homage Paid

There's something sad about this arrangement of floral leis carefully arranged on the back of the stone bench. The wife and I came upon this scene during one of our recent walking excursions at Kakaako Waterfront Park.

I'm thinking that it pays homage to, and encourages remembrance of, an event offshore. Was it an accident? Were people hurt or killed? I don't know.

But it does make me sad, and if that's the purpose of those who placed the leis, then their action worked on me. I only wish I could have directed my inner homage in the right direction.