Yesterday Went Not Exactly as Planned

I had one small errand in mind yesterday morning.

BEFORE LEAVING:

· Me: I have to pick up prescriptions at Costco today.

· The Wife: Why go today? It’s your birthday. Why get aggravated? Go tomorrow.

· Me: I just want to get it over with. I’ll drive there, run in and get the meds since I phoned them in this morning, then come right back home. Should be … oh, 45 minutes at the most.

· The Wife: Okay … Wait … I’m going too.

· Me (apprehensively): Uh, okay. You can wait in the car while I run in.

· The Wife: All right.

ALONG THE WAY:

· Me: I should get off on Nuuanu and get on Nimitz. The construction I ran into last week might still be there, can’t make a left on Liliha, and might have to make a big circle onto Nuuanu anyway.

· The Wife: It should be clear by now. Take the turnoff and turn left on Liliha as usual.

· Me (apprehensively): Uh, okay.

· Me (about 10 minutes later): See? Can’t turn left. Damn, there’s an ambulance behind us (pulling over to the right side of the now single-laned road). Damn, now I’m stuck behind parked cars.

· The Wife: You gotta get over one lane.

· Me (breathing deeply): Ya think?

· The Wife: Hmmm. Go straight. We can go get some eggs at Ka Lei.

· Me (apprehensively): Uh, okay.

· The Wife (10 minutes later, after we’d bought the eggs): Okay, we can go to Costco now.

· Me (sarcastically): I see you brought the coupon book?

· The Wife: Yep. Since we’re gonna be there already.

AT COSTCO:

· Me: I’ll pick up the meds. You go get started on your coupon list.

· The Wife: Okay … come find me. I’ll be around.

· Me (apprehensively): Uh, okay.

· Me (30 minutes later): Where were you? I walked all over the place twice looking for you.

· The Wife: I was right here.

· Me (noticing the cart was full): You don’t say. Right here, huh?

· The Wife: Yep, okay, I’m done. Let’s go. Oh wait, I need a case of Vitamin Water.

· Me: Okay. Is that all you need now?

· The Wife: Yep, that’s all.

· Me (apprehensively): Uh, okay.

· Me (a half-hour later): Can we go now? The cart is really heavy and my shoulder hurts.

· The Wife: Yep. I’m going outside to get a turkey sandwich for mom.

· Me (15 minutes later): Why are you waiting in line with me? Why didn’t you go outside for the sandwich?

· The Wife: I forgot. Okay, I’m going now. I’ll meet you back at the car. Shouldn’t take long.

· Me (apprehensively): Uh, okay.

· Me (mumbling to myself, 15 minutes later, the purchases packed in the trunk): Shouldn’t take long. Right.

· The Wife (10 minutes after that): They didn’t have turkey, just hot dogs, no blah blah blah blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda yadda.

· Me: Fine. Now stop talking and get in the car so we can go home.

The traffic was bad. We got home a half hour later. Bottom line, it took us two-and-a-half hours to do something I wanted to get done in 45 minutes.

All because I told the wife what I was going to do. I should-a just left quietly.