Tuesday, September 1, 2009

If You Offend, Your Ride Will End

Would you believe the Honolulu City Council is considering a bill that would make it a crime for a smelly person to ride the new transit system being planned?

Yes they are. And I sense the bill targets newcomers and visitors to our fair and sweet-smelling city.

One of the two councilmen sponsoring the bill specifically referenced people who come to Hawaii from all over the world, and who have different ideas about maintaining their health, including not bathing daily.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have sat next to odor-challenged people before and it ain’t no picnic. On occasion I have even changed seats when I just couldn’t sit and bear it.

But to pass a law? C’mon!

Who will determine what smells bad and what doesn’t? Is there a threshold, and if there is, what is it? Who’s going to police this? The Odor Police? How do you report this if the driver/engineer asks a person not to board, or to get off because s/he smells to high heaven, and the person refuses? Manhandle and throw him/her off the train?

Will the cops have to haul the offender away? Will there be teams of Odor Preventers patrolling the train with spray deodorant in one hand and free samples of soap in the other? What if the stinky person has an inferiority complex and begins crying? Will the city be legally required to provide counseling?

At some point, will we all have to pass an “Odor Elimination Equivalency Test” when we apply for a day or monthly transit pass?

It stinks, I tell ya. It just plain stinks. If this law passes, I smell an ACLU lawsuit on the horizon.

1 comment:

casch said...

Seems rather ridiculous to me~but isn't that like some government type would want to do!