I Hereby Resolve ...

I'm not a big fan of New Year's resolutions, but I decided to make a few this year.

Therefore, in 2016, I hereby resolve to:

1. Brush my teeth more than twice a day when I feel like it.
2. Change my lounging-around tee shirt if it starts to get smelly.
3. Stop eating a meal when I'm full.
4. Substitute walking for driving when I run out of gasoline.
5. Obey the traffic lights even if there are no cars or people around.
6. Use the sleeper-timer on my bedroom television set unless I fall asleep early.
7. Wake up early if I have to go to the bathroom.
8. Give up my first-class airplane seat if someone double-compensates me.
9. Be as courteous as possible until someone irritates or angers me.
10. Stop farting in public unless I can't help it.

The wife took a look at these and … snickered.

Remind me in December to let you know how they turned out.