Friday, October 9, 2015

Things I’ve Learned in 70+ Years, Part 3 of 3

It started off as a baker's dozen of things I've learned during my 70+ years on Earth. Along the way, I've made it a point to jot down bright realizations or something that someone smarter told me. The list has slowly grown as I recollect what these smart people taught me.

11. Nothing starts the day off like a good bowel movement in the morning. I think you know what I’m talking about, especially if you’re a senior whose diet isn’t as balanced as it should be. Suddenly, prunes become more important. Applying this to your life and work, if you handle the bad stuff first, the day becomes much easier to handle.

12. Never pass up an opportunity to empty your bladder. This is related to #11, another excretory observation. You never know when you'll get another chance to empty your bladder. “I don’t have to go,” is the bane of more than one senior with an ego. Take care of things along the way so they don't become urgent issues down the road.

13. If you have to pick your nose, don't cut your fingernails first. There is a right and natural order of things in life. Things don't work right if the order is reversed. So as much as it’s unpleasant to talk of picking one’s nose, it has to be done, and let me tell you, cutting one’s fingernails and then remembering you need to “dig potatoes” (as the wife puts it) is frustrating.

14. Accept help when it’s offered. Put your pride and ego aside, eliminate any chance of physical injury. More and more, people offer to help me up when I really don’t need the help. They hold doors open for me, something I’ve always done for other people. What goes around comes around, and when a nice person offers to help you … say “Yes,” and later, “Thank you.”

15. A dry sponge can’t soak up liquids. My high school chemistry teacher said this in class one day, seemingly right off the wall. But y’know, he was right. If you’re going to use a sponge, you first need to get it wet, then squeeze out the excess water before it’ll clean your countertop. Similarly, your brain won’t function well if it’s not prepared ahead of time to cogitate.


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