Crab Legs

Do you like crab legs? Poured out on a newspaper-covered wooden table outside, steam rising from the just-boiled crustacean appendages?

I can take them or leave them. The thing is, it’s too much work to crack the shells and dig out the meat. Sure, it’s sweet and tasty, but I’m kind of a lazy guy. I prefer to have my crab meat already shelled. The problem with that, however, is the fun of it is gone.

I’ve had a lot of crab legs in my day, and have the finger scars to prove it. It’s nigh impossible to shell and eat crab legs without jabbing or cutting yourself at least once. And lemme tell you, crab juice in an open cut isn’t fun (‘cause it’s a salty juice and we all know what happens when you put salt on a wound).

However … if you’d like to come over and bash some crab legs for me with a wooden mallet, you’re perfectly welcome to. But you gotta take the shells off too, y’know.

And don’t forget to bring the sauce. Something better than just mayonnaise and ketchup, please.