The Coldest Game (2019)

October 1962 was the scariest period of the post-World War II Cold War between the NATO powers (specifically the United States of America) and the Communist Warsaw Pact (specifically the Soviet Union).

It was the month of my 18th birthday, I was now eligible for the draft, and we learned that the U.S. had detected Soviet nuclear missile rockets on Cuba.

As a freshman at the University of Hawaii Manoa, I was required to take two years of ROTC (Reserve Officers’ Training Corps). In addition to weekly uniformed Air Force drills once a week, I was required to a class in discipline and strategy.

Our instructor advised us to pray because very soon, we’d be (1) drafted and sent to Cuba, or (2) dead from a nuclear attack.

The day that President John F. Kennedy announced the impending crisis was one of the scariest days of my life. Soviet warships were approaching the Caribbean, and American ships were poised to intercept them. Walking to ROTC class, I passed several groups of silent and worried male students huddled around portable transistor radios.

The Coldest Game stars Bill Pullman as former American chess champion Joshua Mansky, who’s called upon to play the Russian champ for the world championship. It turns out to be a tense political affair, full of intrigue, as the Cuban missile crisis is played out and he is pressured into winning.

Streaming on Netflix, the film has not gotten great reviews, but I liked it because I remembered the international situation of the time, bolstered with black and white TV coverage of the crisis. What unsettling memories it evoked.

My Summer of ‘75

Tilda Cobham-Hersey as Helen Reddy

It’s no secret that music has been a great influence in my life. In college (1965-68) I was a member of The Januaries, a folk trio (“two guitars, two guys and a gal”) in Los Angeles. Why I mention this is because of an experience I had in Las Vegas.

In June 1975, at the start of my term as president of the Honolulu Jaycees, I joined the Hawaii State Jaycees delegation to the Jaycees National Convention in Miami.

When the convention ended, two of my Jaycee friends and I met up with in Las Vegas. We stayed at Caesar’s Palace (no skimping, just first-class enjoyment). We also attended one of my more memorable dinner shows at the casino-hotel.

A nice $25 tip (that was big money those days) got us front row seats at a stage-side table. I forget what I ordered, but it was probably prime rib. What I do remember was the name of the expensive wine we ordered — Piesporter Goldtropfchen Reisling Spatlese (can’t recall the winery). It was so good that I searched it out when we returned home to Hawaii.

Around that time, Australian-American singer Helen Reddy was a huge success in the U.S. and after dinner, there she was, singing her hits on stage, only a few yards away from us. Comedian Ruth Buzzi opened the show. She wasn’t particularly special, but I did chuckle a lot, anxious to hear Reddy sing.

Her recording, “I Am Woman,” of course, was very popular and had soared up the charts. Up until the Vegas show, I had no idea what a powerful impact it had on women. Okay, I thought, here’s another woman trying to make it in a man’s world.

Maybe, I wondered, maybe I can learn something about her when she performed live.

I wasn’t disappointed. When she sang her anthem, “I Am Woman,” and the women in the audience joined in with great volume, enthusiasm, and power, it floored me. I got it. I became so emotional, felt a lump in my throat and tears welling up in my eyes. She received a standing ovation from all the women, and a helluva lotta men (me included).

This memory manifested recently when I watched her bio-pic, “I Am Woman,” on Netflix. It was so enjoyable! I learned a lot about the personal problems she had to bear, and sang along with her concerts, cementing in my heart how women had struggled for equality during my lifetime.

The closing scene, when she sang “I Am Woman” before thousands at the Lincoln Memorial during the 1989 “Mobilize for Women's Lives Rally” in Washington, D.C., was so emotionally powerful. Great cinematography, thousands — men included, me too — joined her in singing.

Here We Go Again!

Did you enjoy the musical play and/or 2008 film, Mamma Mia!? Then you will enjoy the 2018 sequel, Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again. I discovered it accidentally while scrolling ahead on the HBO schedule.

A prettier and more mature Sophie is now in charge of her mother Donna’s hotel, planning a grand re-opening after her mother’s passing a year earlier. That’s basically the story setting, but of course, it gets complicated. We know what happened in the original movie, and now we find out what preceded and followed it.

The original characters reprise their roles in present day, and younger actors in flashbacks. And (wild cheers) ... Cher’s in it.

Oh, and those ABBA songs you love and missed in the original movie? Quite a few are performed in this sequel. And that’s good, because let’s face it, ABBA’s music makes the Mamma Mia! play and movie(s) sparkle. I bet you, like me, will be singing along.

For the record, Here We Go Again was a big box office success, bringing in neatly $400 million against a $75 million budget.

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again is great entertainment with excellent production values, well worth your time, unless you don’t like ABBA.

Three notes: (1) The christening scene is an emotional tear-jerker, (2) thankfully, Pierce Brosnan doesn’t sing any solos, and (3) there is an Easter egg at the end of the closing credits, so listen to the music until you get there, or alternatively fast forward.

LBJ (2017)

In this election year, it seemed the timely to watch Woody Harrelson’s outstanding portrayal of President Lyndon Baines Johnson in the 2017 film, LBJ.

Fortunately, it was available for viewing on Amazon Prime Video without any additional fee.

If you didn’t know Harrelson was the principal character, you’d never recognize him. His features were amazingly changed to resemble Johnson, and his voice alone would convince you that he was the real thing. It's Quite a departure from his days as Woodrow Huckleberry Tiberiius "Woody" Boyd on Cheers.

If you are unfamiliar with LBJ, who adopted the “initials” identification early in his political career to emanate the revered FDR (Franklin Delano Roosevelt), know that he was one of the most powerful senators and U.S. Presidents in American history.

He was chosen by John Fitzgerald Kennedy (JFK) to be his 1960 running mate. Although, he was hampered by a huge and aggravating ego, and dissatisfaction with playing second fiddle to the charismatic Kennedys. After the Kennedy assassination, he overcame resentment of the Kennedy clan, and persevered a path to greatness.

LBJ was largely responsible for the passage of the 1964 Civil Rights bill that essentially changed the face of America. The Civil Rights Act ended public segregation and banned employment discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, or national origin.

Eventually, however, his image was tarnished by decisions to expand the Vietnam War, and shockingly, LBJ became the last sitting President not to seek re-election: “Accordingly, I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my party for another term as your President.”

Personally, I was vocally anti-war during his tenure, as were many college students, and vilified him. But I still respected his office and have come to respect the man as I matured during the years. The film LBJ helped heal me.

I’d say more, but you really should watch the film.

The Seven Dwarfs

Disney's Seven Dwarfs

Quick! Can you name the original seven dwarfs in the Grimm fairy tale, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”?

If you said, with the utmost confidence, “Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, Dopey and Doc” you’d be so wrong. I don’t blame you; that’s how I would have answered too ... at least before a few days ago.

In a response to a Facebook friend’s post, I wanted to say I was as “dumb as Dopey.” Except that with my flagging memory, I couldn’t think of his name. So I Googled “seven dwarfs” and was referred to a Wikipedia page. Got my answer quickly, but not before I waded through a list of productions and their dwarfs’ names.

Did you know that the Brothers Grimm did not name their dwarfs in their 1812 story, “Snow White”? True fact.

The First Seven Dwarfs

Also, did you know the dwarfs were first named in a 1912 Broadway play. It was also the first time the dwarfs were featured in the title (“Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”). You’d never guess what their names were: Blick, Flick, Glick, Plick, Quee, Snick and Whick. I was flabbergasted when I read that.

The only times the dwarfs were named Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, Dopey and Doc, were in the (1) famous 1937 Walt Disney animated musical fantasy feature, (2) the 2012-2018 ABC Television fantasy series, “Once Upon a Time” (plus an eighth dwarf, Stealthy), and (3) the Disney/ABC Television’s 2014-2016 animated kiddie series, “The 7D.”

Wikipedia lists a total of 15 other films and productions, with some pretty incredible dwarf names, like:

• Bertram, Bubba, Barnaby, Bernard, Boniface, Bruno and Baldwin
• Biddy, Diddy, Fiddy, Giddy, Iddy, Kiddy and Liddy
• Gorm, Knirps, Niffel, Quarx, Querx, Schrat and Wichtel
• Butcher, Will Grimm, Half Pint, Napoleon, Grub, Chuck/Chuckles and Wolf

Okay, that’s enough. If you want to know more about them dwarfs, go here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Dwarfs

Beautiful Poignancy

Could We Start Again Please (from the rock opera "Jesus Christ Superstar") tops my list of poignant, heart-rendering Broadway songs. I first heard it performed by Heather McRae in 1972 at Universal Studios, just before returning home to Hawaii.

The movie debuted in 1973, with Hawaii’s Yvonne Elliman singing the role of Mary Magdalene. Her plaintive rendition of Could We Start Again Please did something to my heart, and I began silently weeping in the theater. Me, a big, strong successful up-and-coming public relations man, crying like a baby. Good thing the theater was dark.

As soon as the DVD was released, I bought it and have watched it numerous times, always becoming so emotional when the song came on. We attended the San Francisco stage performance in, I think, 2014, and my eyes were wet again.

I just finished watching the YouTube posting of the song. Three times. I can’t talk right now, but I’d like to share the music video with you now.

If you’ve had a disagreement, argument, or estrangement recently with a loved one, the two and a half minutes you spend listening is sure to soften your heart.

The Girl with All the Gifts (2016)

Why is it that when I get bored, I hunt up movies on my Roku 3 that seem to be zombie- or infected- or contagion-related? It just happened again. I found one.

Set in a dystopian future, The Girl with All the Gifts opens in an army penitentiary at Beacon, England, where a couple of dozen children are imprisoned.

Dressed in orange hoody jump suits, the adolescents are transported every morning from their cells to class in special restraining wheelchairs.

The military complex is protected by a heavy link fence, strong, but apparently not strong enough to hold back a massive army of "hungries," fungus-infected humans, who overrun the compound.

One especially intelligent child named Melanie (Sennia Nanua) is rescued by her teacher, Helen Justineau (Gemma Arterton), from Dr. Caroline Caldwell (Glenn Close), who wants to use Melanie's brain to manufacture a cure for the fungus that has ravaged the world. 

They and a small group of soldiers, led by Sgt. Eddie Parks (Paddy Considine), seek an emergency mobile laboratory, their movement among the hungries masked by a blocking gel that hides their human scent.

It works, but there is a problem. Remember the kids in the penitentiary? They smelled the gel every day and know it means normal humans (food) are nearby.

Even Melanie smells the humans and becomes ravenous. So they have THAT to deal with as well. She's hungry and antsy, catches and eats a pigeon, and calms down. She gets hungry again, catches and eats a—well, you get the idea. And yet, she is a savior in more ways than one.

This is not a zombie film, by the way. Zombies are slow and plodding. “Infecteds” are alert and fast. Remember 2013's unsettling World War Z (Brad Pitt)?

Based on M.R. Carey's Edgar-winning 2014 short story, The Girl with All the Gifts is one of the more-intelligent "infected" movies I've seen ... and I've seen a lot. It joins a list that includes three based on Richard Mathewson's iconic 1954 sci-fi novel—1964's The Last Man on Earth (Vincent Price), the 1971 remake, Omega Man (Charlton Heston), and the 2007 reboot, I Am Legend (Will Smith).

It's an entirely plausible movie with an uplifting (if unnerving) finale.

Memorable quotation: "The (pregnant) mothers were probably all infected at once, in a single incident. Then the embryos they were carrying took the infection as well. Through the placenta. They ate their way out."

Memorable scene: Melanie catches and eats ... a cat.

Book Adaptation, Drama, Apocalypse

Reuning With an Old Friend on TCM

Turner Movie Classics recently aired some classic examples of excellent movie-making. One of these Oscar-winning films was West Side Story, which I DVR-ed and watched yesterday.

It was maybe the 10th time since I first saw it one fine Saturday afternoon at the Palace Theater in Hilo, Hawaii, during my senior year in high school. 

Okay. The movie. Take the time-honored story of William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet," and transplant it to New York City of the early '60s. Rename the main characters and set  them in rival gang brotherhoods.

Then, turn them into pop singers and masculine ballet dancers (it's a lot better than it sounds) performing the music of the revered Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim (lyrics). The dancing and choreography are exemplary, by the way.

Adapted from the 1957 Broadway musical, West Side Story is full of racial tension and stereotypes of the era. On the one side are the Jets—white Americans, led by Riff (veteran actor Russ Tamblyn). On the other side are the Sharks—Puerto-Rican immigrants led by Bernardo (newcomer George Chakiris).

Some pseudo-expletives slip into the lyrics and passed the censors, e.g., "fuggin'" and "krupp you!" The gang members make references to their rivals' ethnicity, leading me to wonder whether today's over-sensitive audiences would accept and sing the songs like my generation did. I can just see walkouts disputing the play and theater revivals of the film.

West Side Story swept through the Academy Awards that year, nominated for 11 Oscars, winning 10: Best Picture, Best Supporting Actress (Moreno), Best Supporting Actor (Chakiris), Best Director (Jerome Robbins and Robert Wise), Best Music Score, and five technical category Oscars.

It was nominated for seven Golden Globes, winning three: Best Picture-Musical, Best Supporting Actress (Moreno), and Best Supporting Actor (Chakiris).

West Side Story's soundtrack held the #1 position on the Billboard album charts for a record 54 weeks. "Maria," "America" and "Tonight" are particular favorites of mine.

The leads—Natalie Wood and Richard Beymer—were largely ignored by the Academy, likely because Beymer's songs were dubbed by Jim Bryant, and Wood's by Marni Nixon.

Among those who tested for roles were Suzanne Plechette, Jill St. John, Audrey Hepburn, Anna Maria Alberghetti, Elizabeth Ashley, Anthony Perkins, Warrant Beatty, Bobby Darin, Burt Reyholds, Richard Chamberlain, Troy Donahue and Gary Lockwod. And, guess who director Robert Wise wanted to play Beymer's role ... Elvis Presley.

West Side Story held all the film musical records until Grease showed up and relegated it to second place..

Released Oct. 18, 1961 • Length: 152 minutes • Budget: $6 million • Gross: $43.65 million.

Christmas Movies for Christmas Day

When I closed my movie blog (Shhhh! The Movie's Starting), I had two Christmas movie reviews that I had not run. Instead of trashing them unread, I saved them to post here for you.

A Christmas Story (1983)

A Christmas Story is based on Jean Shepherd’s short stories and semi-fictional anecdotes gleaned from two of his books – In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash, and Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories.

In 1940, 9-year-old Ralphie Parker (Peter Billingsley, and as an adult, the narrating voice of Jean Shepherd) of Hohman, Indiana, has only one Christmas wish – he wants a Red Ryder BB gun (y’know, the one with the compass and a sundial, displayed in Higbee's corner window).

His parents, however, balk at this, admonishing him that he’s just going to shoot his eye out.

First, he tries his mom – Mrs. Parker (Melinda Dillon). Nope. He ends up getting the standard mom-response of "Oh no, you'll ..." Well, y'know.

Next, he tries his teacher – Miss Shields (Teddie Moore). Nope again, he ends up getting another lecture. Finally, he tries a department store Santa Claus (Jeff Gillen), also to no avail, and will these lectures never end?

Each of these three attempts is embellished and supplemented by several anecdotal experiences:

• Like Ralphie saving his mom, brother Randy (Ian Petrella) and dad, aka “The Old Man” (Darren McGavin), from an imaginary Black Bart attack with his trusty Red Ryder rifle, Old Blue.
• Like his friend, Flick (Scott Schwartz), getting his tongue stuck to a frozen flagpole during school recess when he is triple-dog dared, resulting in a visit by the fire department and cops to free him.
• Like the confrontations with the local bully, Scul Farkus (Zack Ward), and his runty sidekick, Grover Dill (Yano Anaya), until one day, something inside Ralphie snaps and he beats the snot out of Scul while hurling a never-ending stream of obscenities until his mom happens by and pulls him off.
• Like his father winning the major sweepstakes award – a lamp shaped like a woman's leg, wearing a fishnet stocking ... a prize that causes considerable consternation for mom because dad loves it and sets it up at the front window. Not only that, Ralphie keeps stroking it.
• Like Ralphie blaming his friend Schwartz (R.D. Robb) for being the source of the uber-bad "F" word that he blurted out while helping his father change a flat tire on the way home from the Christmas tree lot. (Actually, he'd learned from dad, who used it at least 10 times a day). The imaginary result? Soap-poisoning blindness.

Does Ralphie get his Red Ryder rifle? Does he get to shoot his eye out? Tell you what – put that out of your mind, and anticipate instead their Christmas dinner. It's classic.

The writing is so humorous and entertaining, and the episodes accurately reflect the thoughts and experience of most adolescent boys, I'd wager. And that's the beauty of A Christmas Story; it's heart-warming and true-to-life.

A Christmas Story inspired the creation of the television series, The Wonder Years, starring Fred Savage as Kevin Arnold, whose 1960s formative years were followed by legions of nostalgic adults for six seasons from 1988 through 1993.

Grade: A-

Quotation I like from the film: "In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan." – Ralphie Parker (in narrative by Jean Shepherd)

The Santa Suit (2010)

Drake Hunter (Kevin Sorbo), president of Hunter Toys, is a big Scrooge, totally focused on the bottom line. He isn't planning on giving his employees any bonuses or days off during Christmas, except Christmas Day, which just so happens to fall on a Sunday this year.

Nobody else is on the same page as Drake. His secretary, Marge (Rosemary Dunsmore), who worked with his dad (the company founder and creator of the Princess Doll), tries to be his conscience and steer him in the right direction, but it all just slides away, like water off a duck's back.

Then, Kris Krandall (Derry Robinson), one of the Santas provided by Hunter Toys to stores, questions what Drake wants them to do – "pimp" and push Hunter toys to the kids that sit on their laps, and earn a commission for each one the store sells.

He does manage to touch Drake (literally), which changes things considerably. Something weird happens. He's no longer Drake Hunter. He's changed. He now looks like Kris Krandall. Arrested for trespassing at his own company, he is sent to a social worker – Nancy Baxter (Jodie Dowdall).

Nancy takes him in at the social services shelter, after which he gets a job as a store Santa at Dobson's Toy Store, owned by the high-strung Norm Dobson (Jason Blicker). He's teamed up with Sebastian (Darrell Faria), the store's Christmas elf with an acting attitude jealous of Drake's success.

He's pretty good at it, and becomes attached to Gemma (Brianna D'Aguanno), a shy, sad little girl who shows up every day. He follows her home one evening to make sure she gets there safely, and is surprised to see that she lives in the house where he grew up. It's more than a coincidence. For you see, Gemma's mother works on an assembly line at ... Hunter Toys. And she can't afford to get Gemma what she really wants for Christmas – a Princess Doll.

Do things work out in the end? Of course they do. After all, it's Christmas.

The Santa Suit ran on the Hallmark Channel, and like all Hallmark productions, it's a quality presentation. It certainly makes one feel good. At least it did me. Kevin Sorbo does a good job, and as his alter-ego Kris (Santa), he goes a great job. And Jodie Dowdall is a very good-looking lady with a beautiful, radiant smile.

Grade: B+

Quotation I like from the film: "Santa Claus is more than a symbol. He's been overused and misrepresented. But underneath it all, he represents the best of humankind. Selflessness. Generosity. Charity. Kindness." – Kris Krandall

Y'all have a very Merry Christmas now, y'heah?

Not So Fun, Fun, Fun

I was watching the Brian Wilson biopic, Love & Mercy (2015), on Amazon Prime the other day, so my head is still full of Beach Boys music today.

There's some great music in the film, and one can't help but sing along.

Back in the '80s, I used to walk around the office with earphones connected to my Walkman (remember those?), off-tune lyrics spilling out of my mouth, just a-rockin' and a-rollin' ...but that's not what I wanted to talk about.

Anyway, Brian Wilson is played by two good actors: Paul Dano (Wilson in the '60s) and John Cusack (Wilson in the '80s). The movie covers a lot of his healing relationship with Melinda Ledbetter (Elizabeth Banks), his second wife. Y'know, Elizabeth Banks is such a pretty woman ... but that's not what I wanted to talk about.

Paul Giamatti played 40-something-ish Eugene Landy, Brian's psychologist, who looked a little weird with long curly hair. He quickly got on Melinda's (and my) nerves with his controlling manner ... but that's not what I wanted to talk about.

Umm ... you know how you sometimes get into singing along with the radio or audio clip, just swinging with the lines of a popular song? I do that all the time. And sometimes I get the words all wrong.

Like I thought it was "She drives me crazy, like long blonde hair," when the British group, Fine Young Cannibals, was actually singing, "She drives me crazy, like no one else."

Which finally brings me to my point: Ever since the Beach Boys released "Fun, Fun, Fun" in 1964, I've always thought the accompanist rift line was (and always sang it as) "You're shooting the line, shooting the line!"

Good thing I turned the closed captions on when I watched Love & Mercy. I was shocked to learn that the actual lyrics were, "You shouldn't have lied, shouldn't have lied!"

A light bulb went on in my head. Her daddy took her T-bird away! Why? Because she told her daddy she was going to the library, but went to the hamburger stand instead. She lied; she didn't shoot the line. I should have paid closer attention to the lyrics and not just the music.

Wrong, all these 50+ years, and no one corrected me. I feel so stupid.

And that's what I'm talking about.

Classic Japanese Films 2: Erotic Stories

Again, my new Roku 3 and HULU are allowing me to re-watch a number of classic Japanese films that I haven't seen in a long, long time.

The Japanese are masters of erotic films that tap you on the shoulder and hold on to your attention. In the past week or so, I've watched three of them: Onibaba ("Demon Hag," pronounced OH-ni-bah-bah), In the Realm of the Senses (AI no korida in Japanese, l'Empire des sens in French), and Woman in the Dunes (Suna no Onna)

Onibaba

There's a jealous woman about and she's after a man who's seduced her daughter-in-law. Heck, the demon mask alone is enough to give you the shivers and keep the light on at night.

Director: Kaneto Shindō. Released: 1964. Length: 103 minutes

In the Realm of the Senses

It's a true story. She's got passion in her soul ... and so does he. And, apparently, so does the director. Gotta warn you, there's explicit sexual activity on the screen. Explicit.

Director Nagisa Oshima. Released 1976 (France and Japan), 1977 (US). Length: 108 minutes

Woman in the Dunes

An entomologist falls into a sand pit and can't get out. Luckily (?) there's a young woman there with whom he eventually connects. Unfortunately, he can't get out; the villagers won't let him. What?

Director: Hiroshi Teshigahara. Released: 1964. Length: 123 minutes (147 minutes director's cut)

Classic Japanese Films: Kwaidan

Thanks to my new Roku 3 and my Hulu subscription, I've been able to view a number of classic Japanese films preserved by Criterion that I'd seen a long, long time ago.

One of my favorites has always been Kwaidan ("Ghost Story," pronounced KWAI-dawn), which I first viewed soon after its release in 1964. An impressionable young man in college, I pretty much experienced a chill and the shivers at the end of the four obake ("ghost," pronounced o-BAH-keh) stories:

"The Black Hair"

A poor samurai leaves his loyal wife to work far away for a rich family. He gains a new wife (unfortunately a shallow woman), and a new position as a district governor. He eventually tires of his new wife and returns home to attempt reconciliation. His former wife appears happy with the renewed arrangement. But … just wait and see what happens when he wakes up the next morning by her side.

"The Woman of the Snow"

Two woodcutters find refuge during a snowstorm, but the elder of the two is killed by a Yuki-onna (“woman snow spirit,” pronounced you-key ohn-nah); the younger is spared, but only on condition he never tells anyone—ANYONE—the reason why. Unfortunately, he later marries and has children, but just can’t hold back and tells his wife about the woman of the snow.

"Hoichi the Earless"

A blind musician specializes in singing about The Tale of the Heike (Hey-ee-keh) and the sea battle between the Taira (Ty-rah) and Minamoto (Mee-nah-moh-toh) clans. He is called upon to perform before a royal family, which turns out to be the ghosts of the battle. His friends write a sutra (“prayer text,” pronounced soo-trah) on his body, but forget his ears, which are subsequently ripped off by the ghosts who come to get him.

"In a Cup of Tea"

A writer keeps seeing faces in a cup of tea while waiting for a visit from his publisher. It’s driving him mad, and when the publisher arrives, the writer is nowhere to be found … except … in … you know where.

Director: Masaki Kobayashi

Released: 1964

Length: 183 minutes

The Martian

I finally got to see The Martian, in of all places my hotel room in Las Vegas. 

Based on Andy Weir's best-selling 2011 novel and released in 2015, The Martian is about astronaut Mark Watney's (Matt Damon) efforts to stay alive after being presumed dead and abandoned following a gigantic storm on Mars.

Watney uses his science knowledge to survive, knowing he has four Earth years (each day is a "sol") before Aries IV arrives. Thank God for the human waste the Aries III Marsonauts saved. With it, soil is produced and he grows potatoes for seed and food.

Meanwhile, NASA receives satellite pictures showing movement of Mars base camp elements. The discovery starts a public shit storm back on Earth. Led by agency director Teddy Sanders (Jeff Daniels), NASA tries to read Mark's mind and figure out what he's doing.

Communications are facilitated when Mark finds the 1997 Mars rover, Pathfinder, and turns on its still camera. It's a very emotional moment when they exchange their first messages, a moment that I fully appreciated and shared. And I fully understand how his returning Aries III crew feels when they are finally advised two months later — simultaneously offended and dismayed.

Problems do arise, but thank God for duct tape and the Chinese. The conclusion is tense and emotional; I loved the book with its twists and turns, and I love the movie for the same reasons. Plus, the '70s songs in the soundtrack are relevant and are there for a reason. Not to mention that there's real science involved in his survival story.

~ "Good thing I'm a botanist. Mars will come to fear my botany powers." ~ Mark Watney (Matt Damon)

Miracle on 34th Street (1994)

Kriss Kringle (Richard Attenborough) and Susan Elizabeth Walker (Mara Wilson)

It's modern-day New York City and Cole's is the sponsor of the Thanksgiving Day parade (Macy's declined to participate in this remake, which explains the "Cole's" name change).

Kriss Kringle (Richard Attenborough), who claims to be the real Santa Claus, calls out a drunken Santa – Tony Falacchi (Jack McGee) – on the sleigh float, much to the surprise of Dorey Walker (Elizabeth Perkins), director of special projects for Cole's Department Store.

When the drunken Santa falls off the sleigh, Dorey recruits Kriss, who works out just fine. Dorey's wise little 6-year-old daughter, Susan Elizabeth (Mara Wilson) is a little sad this Christmas, worried that her mom's job may be in jeopardy (two banks just rescued Cole's from a hostile takeover); and, she knows that Santa's not real.

Dorsey's neighbor, lawyer Bryan Bedford (Dylan McDermott), is in love with her, but despite his and Susan's gentle hints (okay, Susan's are anything but gentle), Dorey keeps holding out.

Kriss dons his own Santa suit and takes his place in the Cory's Santa chair. But he truly wants to help, so he sends some kids' moms to Bargain Village, who offers the same thing for much less money. An appreciative mother (Allison Janney), tells Dorey's boss, Donald Shellhammer (Simon Jones), that Kris made her a customer for life because he puts customers before sales.

Donald latches on to the concept and sells it to C.F. Cole (William Windom), who loves the idea. That angers Victor Landberg (Joss Ackland, uncredited), who owns a competitor store and wants to buy out Cole's. He scolds his people – Jack Duff (James Remar) and Alberta Leonard (Jane Leeves) – for not thinking of it first.

Jack and Alberta try to derail Cole's by hiring Kriss away. No dice. So Jack changes his strategy and talks to an embittered Tony Falacchi, the drunken Santa. Falacchi's a pretty nasty guy and sets out to undermine Kriss' special bond with children.

Unbeliever Susan watches Kriss at work and begins to come around. That bothers unbeliever Dorey. So Kriss makes a test case out of the two and tries to make them believers. Susan asks him for a house, a brother and a dad. That's what it will take for him to prove that Santa's real.

Bryan proposes to Dorey and gets turned down flat. Then, something bad happens and the next thing you know, Kriss is on trial for assault and battery, a segment featuring two great actors: J. T. Walsh as hard-hearted prosecutor Ed Collins, and Robert Prosky as Judge Henry Harper, whose grandson talked to Kriss in the movie's prologue.

If you've seen the earlier version of Miracle on 34th Street, then you generally know what happens next. If not, then you're just going to have to see the movie for yourself, and have your faith in the Christmas Miracle renewed. You'll need some tissue.

Mara Wilson is as perfect in the role of Susan Elizabeth Walker as Natalie Wood was in the 1947 version. And Richard Attenborough is such a believable Santa Claus. The 1994 remake is almost as good as the old version.

There are some mighty fine Christmas songs performed in the sound track by some mighty famous singers: "Jingle Bells" by Natalie Cole, "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" by Dionne Warwick, "Santa Claus Is Back in Town" by Elvis Presley, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kenny G, "Joy to the World" by Aretha Franklin and the FAME Freedom Choir, "Song for a Winter's Night" by Sarah McLachlan, and "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town" by Ray Charles.

This is the second theatrical version of Miracle on 34th Street (the first, in 1947, starred Maureen O'Hara, John Payne, Natalie Wood and Edmund Gwenn) and the fourth overall if television movies are included.

Grade: A-

Christmas, drama, fantasy, Remake, romance

Quotations I like from the film:

"Sure. That's the end of the parade anyway. There's nothing else to see except guys cleaning up horse poop. And THAT doesn't thrill me at all." – Susan Walker (Mara Wilson)

"Truth is one of the most important things in the world ... to know the truth and to always be truthful with others, and more importantly, with yourself. And believing in myths and fantasies just makes you ... unhappy." – Dorey Walker (Elizabeth Perkins)

"If you can't believe, if you can't accept anything on faith, then you're doomed for life." – Kriss Kringle (Richard Attenborough)

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar

 

I've seen this movie on the TV schedule a hundred times over the years, and I had a general idea of what it was about – three drag queens on a cross-country trip to define their careers in California.

It didn't interest me one iota. Uh uh, not even by a smidgen. I mean, who wants to see Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes and John Leguizamo dressed up, made up, talking like, and moving like women? Not me. I managed to avoid it for 20 years since it came out in 1995.

So it actually surprised me when I hit the record button on my DVR the other day when I saw it on the Ovation Channel schedule, let the movie languish in my viewing queue for a few days, then on a bored whim, hit the play button.

I have to say that I felt more than a bit uncomfortable watching the guys transform into women via makeup, wigs, clothes and attitude, but they grew on me. To be frank about it, they actually look pretty good after the transformation. Does saying that make me weird?

So why did they head off to Los Angeles? Vida Boheme (Swayze) and Noxeema Jackson (Snipes) tie in the New York Drag Queen of the Year contest and win free round-trip tix to Hollywood to compete in the Drag Queen of America contest. Chi-Chi Rodriguez (Leguizamo), who really wanted to win, loses out.

They sell their airline tickets to John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt (Robin Williams, who hates when the people always shout), buy an old yellow Cadillac convertible for $50, and take Chi-Chi along with them.

Along the way, they meet a horny racist homophobic sheriff (Chris Penn), and a small town full of conservative hicks who are deeply affected by the trio's, uh, affectations. 

Confession: I enjoyed the film. Which just goes to show you shouldn't judge a movie by its general premise. Watch it, then judge. Oh, and Julie Newmar does make a cameo appearance at just the precise moment, which makes the movie worthwhile.

~ "I don't think of you as a man. I don't think of you as a woman. I think of you as an angel." ~ Carol Ann (Stockard Channing)

 
P.S. For answers to questions you may have about the film's title, read the post below this one.