Hazards of Imaginary Exercise

I think Earl Pickles nailed my problem with exercise!

Don't Believe Everything They Tell You

Oh, if only airline flight attendants meant what they say. There's many a time (see some of my previous posts) when I wish I could have said this and had my wish granted.

Waking Up ...

... is so very hard to do.

When I was younger (way, way younger), I was probably like you when YOU were way, way younger. We didn't want to go to bed early, primarily because we weren't sleepy.

And then, we didn't want to wake up in the morning because we were still sleepy and "needed" a few more minutes, or a couple of hours, of additional shut-eye.

Hence the conundrum of younger days: Why did we have to go to sleep when we weren't sleepy, and wake up when we were? No good answer to that one.

But now I'm older, and my problem is that I fall asleep too early, and wake up too early. Waking up is a pain, but not falling back to sleep is even worse.

I never used to be able to nap, try as I might. These days, however, an afternoon nap isn't so hard. The body cells and droopy eyes demand it, actually, so I just give in.

Waking up is so very hard to do.

An Evil Scheme

Earl Pickles is a wise old man. I have learned a lot from him about getting out of household chores.

My Daily Newspaper Routine

I love Big Nate; I think Lincoln Peirce does a wonderful job with the comic strip.

Okay, now that we know Big Nate’s and Mrs. Czerwicki’s daily newspaper-reading routine (obituaries first? Really?), here’s mine.

While having breakfast, I read headlines in the news and entertainment sections. I then leaf through the sports section to see if there are any stories/columns about the Atlanta Braves or the University of Southern California Trojans. More likely than not, there is none.

Then, my favorite part, I read the funnies faithfully and carefully, for there is more wisdom there to be found than elsewhere in the newspaper. Except for Darby Conley’s “Get Fuzzy”; for some reason, I just can’t get into that one.

And that’s about the size of it.

Take THAT, Honolulu Star-Advertiser.

It Wasn't Me!

There's a right and wrong time and place for everything. And it all depends on who you're with (and their tolerances).

But I swear, it wasn't me this time!

Good Hygiene? Not Always

Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to practice good hygiene. Sometimes, it pays to be lazy and keep your fingernails and toenails on the long side. As long as you don't rip your sheets. Y'know?

Lucky We Live Hawaii

Family Circus

 

I'm telling you, there are times like this (the dead of winter on the mainland) that we in Hawaii are grateful we don't have to deal with children who have this problem.

The ‘Learning Something New’ Aphorism

“Frazz,” by Jeff Mallett, is one of my favorite newspaper comic strips to read during breakfast with my morning coffee.

I especially enjoy the insights of 8-year-old Caufield, a precocious and creative thinker.

 

Recently, Caufield was talking to the strip’s principal character, school custodian Edwin “Frazz” Frazier, who remarked that Caufield wasn’t usually averse to learning something new. (Caufield had just had another run-in with his teacher, the bespeckled Mrs. Olsen.)

Caulfield noted something about a phrase that always gets on my nerves: “You learn something new every day.” I have issues with those words.

First of all, nobody learns something new every day. If we did, you’d be able to tell me what you learned the day before yesterday, the day before that, the day before that, and so on ad infinitum.

 

You can’t. So you didn’t learn something every day. You may have heard something new every day, but you certainly didn’t learn it.

Secondly, Caufield is right. Everything you learn is new. Isn’t it? You’ve never learned anything that was “old” to you. “Learn something new” is redundant.

Right? Right! I hope you learn this from this and remember it.

 

A Late-Arriving Christmas Gift

Always ... ALWAYS ... read the directions first

before trying out your new Christmas present!

The Burning Questions of Christmas

 

And finally, doesn’t comic artist/author Tim Rickard know how to spell “Santa Claus”?

The Cracking of the Knees

I don’t remember exactly when my knees started cracking. Perhaps it happened when I was in college; perhaps it was when I was 30 or so. Perhaps it was even later than that.

No matter.

The point is, it’s been one of the first things I’ve done in the morning for years and years and years. I do it one of two ways: I either get out of bed, so a squat so my knees are extremely bent and give out loud “ka-racks.” Or, as I’m lying in bed, I’ll whip each leg out straight in turn and crack the knees that way.

The “Family Circus” newspaper cartoon pictured in this blog ran recently. It brought the knee-cracking to top of mind and I wondered how many people out there experience this. Apparently, it’s pretty common. Still, I’ve never heard anyone else talking about the phenomenon.

WebMD says not to worry about cracking or popping unless it’s associated with pain or swelling. It’s most likely uneven cartilage surfaces gliding against each other. Or, perhaps ligaments tightening with movement over the bones.

I liken it to the relief you get when you crack your neck or your shoulders when you flex them. Y'know, the thing chiropractors do as you lie on their table. It feels good and heralds a loosening-up of the body. I think. But there’s no pain, so I’m not going to worry about it.

Do your knees crack?

Hey, I Do This Too!

Earl Pickles cracks me up. Check out how he removes his socks without squeezing over his stomach (a problem I too encounter):

I do exactly the same thing. I do have an additional problem, however. Sometimes when I flip the socks, they fly right up to my face and give me a whiff of their halitosis (toes in hell).

And I wonder how many people reading this know who Ed Sullivan was ...

Fantasy vis-a-vis Reality

Baby Blues

How come the older we get, the bigger our fantasies? Leave it to the little ones to be devastatingly insightful. 

Only Grandpas and Grandsons Allowed Here

We just got back from visiting our grandson (oh, and his family too, we tend to forget about that), and the wife sometimes feels left out because when he and I talk about Star Wars and Legos and other trendy kids' amusements, she doesn't understand a word of what we're saying.

Poor thing. I'm sure she'd find a sympathetic friend in Opal Pickles.

Dog Humor

You know how people sometimes blame the dog when a stinky one is released? You do know the dog knows what the guilty party is getting at, don't you?

Dogs have a sense of humor. Just because they walk around with a silly grin on their faces and a dripping tongue doesn't mean they don't get it.

Witness:

I'm telling you ... THEY KNOW!

My, How Things Have Changed

This Mother Goose and Grimm comic strip reminds me of my grandson.

He and I used to watch Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope endlessly whenever we were in hailing distance of a TV set and Blu-Ray. I'd refer to it as Episode Four; he'd call it Episode "Vee-Eye" and we understood what the other was talking about.

My, how things have changed.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas

to You and Yours

from Me and Mine ...

and the Mickey Mouse Gang!

Happy Belated Birthday, Wizard

On Monday, several comic strips paid homage to The Wizard of Id, a humorous and entertaining comic strip that celebrated its 50th anniversary on Monday.

I was totally unaware of the anniversary, so I'm late in extending my best wishes to Johnny Hart, Brant Parker and his son, Jeff, who've entertained us for decades.

Here are the comic strips that appeared in my Monday morning newspaper:

Blondie

Dennis the Menace

Mother Goose and Grimm

Pickles

The only thing bugging me is that the Honolulu Star-Advertiser does not run the weekday strips of The Wizard of Id.

Familiar Senior Moment

I love the Pickles comic strip, it so reflects real life according to the wife and me.