How You Can Tell

In a couple of emails that my friends sent me recently were lists of situations that help you determine (as if you didn’t already know) if you’ve adapted to the modern age, or if you’re just old.

I’d like to share some items from each of the lists. So … here we go.

How to Tell if You’ve Adapted

1. You’ve tried to enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven’t played Solitaire with real cards for a long time.
3. Every TV commercial has a web address at the bottom of the screen.
4. Your family of three has 15 phone numbers.
5. If you leave your house without your cell phone, you panic and go back to get it.
6. You send emails or instant messages to everyone, including someone who sits next to you.
7. You go online before having your first cup of coffee in the morning.

How to Tell If You’re Just Old

1. You didn’t taste your first pizza until you were 21.
2. You didn’t have a telephone in your bedroom when you were a teenager.
3. The television went off the air after midnight.
4. Movie stars kissed with their mouths closed.
5. You remember Green Stamps, blue flashbulbs, Studebakers and Howdy Doody.
6. The family sedan had a headlight dimmer switch on the floor.
7. There was no such thing as soccer practice.