A Movie Flop

I went to see the new hit movie, Hunger Games, the other day … and no, the “movie flop” alluded to in this post's title doesn’t refer to the movie.

It refers to a fall I took as I shuffled between the rows of seats to get to mine. See, I went to see the movie at a Titan-Xc theater and once in a while (like for a popular movie), they assign you seats. My seat was AA20, first row in the upper section, with a pipe railing in front.

A perfect seat.

Unfortunately, I stepped on the toe of my left foot, can you believe that? Talk about being a klutz. I stumbled, was unable to keep my balance due to my ample midsection, and fell forward, landing on both my knees with a big thud against the concrete floor.

Ow. Oh ow.

I was able to catch the railing with my left hand, preventing a total face-smash on the ground, and even maintained my grip on my soda. Talented hands, I must say. But I wrenched my left shoulder and my knees were on fire. I managed to get myself back up and hobbled to my seat.

Good thing the theater was empty due to my early arrival. A guy was sitting a few rows up and he asked if I was okay. Gave him a thumbs up and acting nonchalant, began rubbing my knees. Everything worked, I could flex my knees and bend them, and my toes could wiggle.

Good. Nothing broken.

As it turns out, the denim material on my jeans actually caused huge strawberries on my knees that burned like heck for about 15 minutes. Then, the movie started and I forgot about the pain, concentrating on Katniss Evergood’s attempts to stay alive in the Games. Wow, and I thought I was hurting? Yikes.

Here’s what the knees looked like when I got home and cleaned them up:

I bandanged them and have since been walking like Frankenstein’s monster because the wraps made it difficult to bend my knees. But y’know, I count my blessings. The theater could have been full, I could have smashed my face and … I could have spilled my Coke.

Kentucky Down Under Birds

Wandering amongst the bird enclosures at a zoo or animal park is always a welcome experience for me. Even better is walking inside an apiary and mingling with the birds themselves (make sure you wear a hat).

Most of the beautiful birds at Kentucky Down Under in Horse Cave, Western Kentucky, are in cages, unfortunately, but if you get up real close, the chicken wire becomes less of a problem. If you want pictures that eliminate most of the wire, put your camera up close with the lens at a hole in the mesh. That’s what I did.

My favorite bird adventure was the Land of Lories. The guide gives you a little paper cup of sweet syrup that the lories crave. As soon as you enter the enclosure, they swarm over you, landing on your arms, shoulders and head. They’re not at all camera shy, so I was able to photograph a beautiful one as it perched on my left hand:

Rainbow Lory - Trichoglossus haematodus

The rest of the birds were caged. The kookaburras were hiding and not singing or laughing, unfortunately, so I didn’t get a good shot of any. But there were a few magnificent cockatoos and lories out and about, sunning themselves:

Goffins Cockatoo - Cacatua goffiniana

Red Lory - Eos bornea bornea

I got a big kick out of the frogmouths – so named because of their wide mouths that emulate frogs’ mouths. They’re strange-looking birds indeed:

 Papuan Frogmouth - Podargus papuensis

Tawny Frogmouth - Podargus strigoides

Birdy, birdy in the sky ... drop some whitewash in my eye. Just kidding! Hey, watch it!

Kentucky Down Under

One of the neat things I did when I visited Kentucky was head off to Horse Cave (great name, huh?) and check out Kentucky Down Under, which is sort of like the Australian Outback in Bluegrass land.

It’s not exactly cheap ($36), but if you’re a kid 14 or under, it’s $18. And if you’re preschool, it’s free. So make sure you lie about your age.

I didn’t have enough time, so I had to skip going to Kentucky Caverns. That was a bummer, but I wanted to make sure I saw the livestock – the Australian birds, the sheep, the kangaroos and wallabies, and especially an aviary they call the “Land of Lories.”

The Outback Walkabout is rather interesting, ‘cept they make you stay on the path and generally keep away from the kangaroos, allowing only controlled petting opportunities. Kangaroos can be quite dangerous if they get excited, and I wonder if they got some advice from lawyers, or (heaven forbid) if a guest was injured.

On the island of Kauai, here in Hawaii, there’s a restaurant called “The Bullshed.” Well, they don’t have a bullshed there at KY Down Under, but they do have a Woolshed where you’re given a lesson on the different type of sheep and the how their fleeces are used to help mankind.

It took the better part of a half-day, but I’m glad I took this side trip. Here’s a bunch of pictures that I took (just a few out of dozens):

Me ... and Birdy Friend

Grey Kangaroos

Red Kangaroo

Red Kangaroo Joey

Different Sheep Breeds

Milking Moo Cow

I’ll show you some birds next time.

See Y'All Laytah

Left Field Wander is going to be offline for a few days, got some stuff to do ... I'll catch up with you later next week and let you in on what I did.

My other blogs have been automatically scheduled, and I'll have my iPad with me, so I should be able to advise on Twitter and Facebook as to what's been posted while I'm gone.

Take care of each other now, y'heah?

I'm Craving French Toast

I have this craving for French toast this morning. I wonder what set that off? Don't you just hate when that happens?

Our New Roof

New Roof

Well, it was a couple of days of early morning to mid-afternoon hell for a few days this week, but it was all worth it.

The new roof has been installed. No more does the house have a marshmallow top. Instead, the roof is a lovely color-coordinated tan with variegated texture and color, which should be light enough to reflect away the hot Hawaiian sun during the upcoming summer months.

No more trucks blocking the driveway, no more outhouse in the front yard, and especially no more pounding, stomping and scraping above my head as I'm trying to get a few moments of extra sleep in the morning.

Awwwwrightie, then!

Oops!

I'm sure Freedom United States has done, and is doing, good things. After all, they send care packages to our soldiers fighting overseas to help with their morale.

Their packages contain clean underwear (new, I hope and presume), cookies, candy, chewing gum (depending on what's available) and paperback books, definitely a welcome addition to MREs and GI food.

However, they really should get their ducks in order before embarking on a fund-raising campaign. They were walking Windward Oahu communities recently, going door-to-door asking for donations.

Uh oh ... one of the homes they hit was the residence of a Hawaii deputy attorney general, who's area of specialities is (get this) charity oversight. Well, he did some investigation and it turns out Freedom United States doesn't have the proper documentation to solicit funds. Their donations are NOT tax-deductible and their financial records are untrackable.

The endshot? A cease-and-desist order. What dunces. Whatta maroon.

I kid you not.

Front Yard Port-a-Potty

Roofers Roofing, Trucks Parking, and Port-a-Pottying

We've got roofers ripping the hell out of our roof this week, replacing shingles that ... well, that are in need of replacing.

The driveway is jammed with big trucks and we've had to park one of our cars outside (that little white SUV there) so it doesn't get trapped in the garage. It came in useful too, yesterday. See, we're also having our kitchen painted and it's difficult to cook anything without having to dig into boxes to find pans and utensils.

I was a little surprised to see that the roofers brought their own port-a-potty to use. There it is, that familiar green structure behind our SUV.

I'm kind of proud of it being there. I mean, how many people in the neighborhood have a functioning outhouse in their front yard? I betcha I'm the envy of all around us.

Everybody Loves Raymond

The Barone Family – Robert, Frank, Debra, Ray and Marie

After I'd seen all of the old Monk episodes (I may have missed one or two, but I doubt it), I needed something else to catch up on.

For a while, I was DVR'ing Angela Lansbury's Murder She Wrote, but kind of lost interest in the J.B. Fletcher mystery after a couple of months. Then one day, I was channel surfing and came across Everybody Loves Raymond on TBS. Now THAT jabbed me right in the funny spot.

Since then, I have been DVR'ing four episodes a day and watching them later in the evening. Four aren't much, they whiz by pretty quickly. Four half-hour episodes actually work out to only an hour and a half of actual programming time.

The sitcom's premise is simple: Sports columnist Ray Barone (Ray Romano) is married to Debra (Patricia Heaton); they have a daughter and twin sons – Ally, Michael and Geoffrey (real-life siblings . Madylin, Sullivan and Sawyer). Ray's parents, Frank and Marie (Peter Boyle Doris Roberts) live across the street, and they are visited frequently by Ray's giant of a brother, Robert (Brad Garrett).

Talk about a dysfunctional family. Robert has an inferiority complex, Frank is gross and curt, Marie is passively aggressive and critical, Debra has a hot temper, and Ray is ... well, Ray is a wimp. Put 'em all together and you have the recipe for an irritating show (which it can be at times) that somehow ends up making you laugh ... because it's really yourself that you're laughing at.

I even watched an HBO documentary, Exporting Raymond, that chronicled the show producer's (Phillip Rosenthal) journey to Russia to adapt Raymond for Russian audiences. Now that in itself was funny.

I'd forgotten how I'd enjoyed the old half-hour sitcoms.

‘Alouette’ is a Mean Song

Have you seen that new Target commercial celebrating the joys of color as young people jump out of a balloon and magic-touch everyday items as The Delta Rhythm Boys sing a lilting French song?

That song is ”Alouette,” a song I learned when I was in grade school. Which in itself is a little unusual because who’d-a thought a little boy in Hawaii would be singing a song about plucking a bird in the French language?

Not just any bird. A lark. A beautiful bird with a beautiful song. And the singer wants to pluck it. I’d thought it was a dove when I was a kid. And that the dove was gentle and beautiful. Why? Because the lyrics begin with Alouette, gentile Alouette (“Lark, nice lark”).

But … the next line is Alouette, je te plumerai (Lark, I shall pluck you). Good Lord. And THEN, you have to sing, Je te plumerai la tête (“I shall pluck your head”). The verses that follow advise the lark that you’re going to continue plucking – la bec (beak), le dos (back), les ailes (wings), les pattes (feet) and la queue (tail).

Oh, how gross. I’ll never be able to look at the Target ad again without thinking of a naked bird posing in the middle of the bull’s eye logo.