Irritating and/or Obnoxious

 I don’t watch many half-hour comedy, western, detective, or sci-fi television series these days, so I can’t really compare contemporary ones with those of the ‘60s, ‘70s and early ‘80s.

Why that early time period? Because I see them on MeTV, a habit I picked up during my stay at Kalakaua Gardens Rehab Center. They’re pretty much formulaic, with many recurring characterizations. 

The characterizations that stand out to me are the irritating and obnoxious ones. There are two types.

The first ones are usually minor side characters. They get on my nerves, and I think that if their personalities changed, it definitely would be for the better. In fact, if they disappeared completely, the series would be more enjoyable.

• Eddie Haskell (“Leave It to Beaver”): Theodore “Beaver” Cleaver’s brother Wally’s best friend.
• Eustace Haney (“Green Acres”): Dishonest Hooterville salesman.
• Charles O’Casey (“My Three Sons”): Live-in housekeeper “Uncle Charley.”

(Shudder … you know what I mean?)

The other group consists of major co-stars. These are a lot more tolerable as they are sidekicks and add a lot to the cast, and in fact, they’re often the focus of the episode.

• Festus Haggen (“Gunsmoke”): Marshall Matt Dillon’s deputy.
• Barney Fife (‘The Andy Griffith Show”): Sheriff Andy’s deputy. 
• Gunnery Sgt. Vince Carter (“Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.”): Pfc. Gomer Pyle’s drill instructor. 

Any thoughts are welcome.

MeTV’s Plethora of Medical Ads

Recently, I’ve spent several weeks in a hospital rehabilitating after suffering a stroke (still here as of this posting). I watched a lot of daytime television and all I can say is thank goodness for cable TV.

Two years ago, a friend told me about about MeTV (Saturday nights on the locaI ABC affiliate). She told me about “Svengoolie,” a weird character who hosted a two-hour show on Saturday night. His shtick is classic ‘50s-‘70s horror, monster, and sci-fi movies.

That made me a mini-MeTV fan. Then, while lying on my back in the hospital, I discovered the 24-hour MeTV Channel ‘way down among the triple-digit cable channels. Series galore! Westerns (e.g., “Gunsmoke”), detective (e.g., “Mannix”), crime (e.g., “In the Heat of the Night), comedies (e.g., “Leave It to Beaver”), varieties (e.g., “The Carol Burnett Show”), and more.

It took me back to my high school and college days. Save for live Los Angeles Dodgers games, it’s my in-room channel exclusively.

One thing surprised me — there are lots of pharmaceutical television commercials throughout the day. My conclusion: The pharmaceutical companies are catering to people more or less my age, who remember but haven’t watched these shows in years. And we are most likely to be affected by the medical problems that can be treated with the products.

With little to do, I took notes. I had heard of two; maybe you are familiar with more:

• Austedo (Deutetrabenazine): Unintentional movements
• Enbrel (Etanercept): Auto-immune diseases
• Entresto (Sacubitril /Valsartan): Heart failure
• Farxiga (Dapagliflozin): Type 2 diabetes
• Fasenra (Benralizumab): Asthma
• Jardiance (Empagliflozin): Type 2 diabetes
• Lynzess (Linaclotide): Constipation
• Neuriva (Phosphatidylserine): Brain supplement
• Nucala (Mepolizumab): Severe asthma
• Rybelsus (Semaglutide): Type 2 diabetes
• Skyrizi (Risankizumab): Psoriasis 
• Tepezza (Teprotumumab): Thyroid eye disease

I feel so much smarter now. Do you?

Random Musings 38

If you stare into space and let your mind wander, is that multi-tasking?

* * * * *

If corn seeds join the army, do they become kernels?

* * * * *

Is it true that you can’t plant a flower garden if you haven’t botany?

* * * * *

What if beavers no longer gave a damn?

* * * * *

If your mind always wanders, are you exercising?

* * * * *

I tried to write a pun using the word “tended,” but then realized there’s no pun in “tended.”

* * * * *

If your phlegm floats, is it phlegm-buoyant?

* * * * *

Why does quicksand work so slowly?

Hilo Days: My Squishy Adventure

One should never torment cats as they go about their daily routines. I learned this the hard way during my pre-school years. It’s one of the adventures I wrote about in my now-defunct Hilo Days website. I thought you might get a kick out of the entry.

NEVER DIG UP A CAT MOUND

Hilo, like any other city or town in the world, had its share of dogs and cats running all around the place.

If there's anything I learned about cats during my B.R. [Before Riverside (School)] days, it was never to fool around with the mound of dirt put together by a cat. 

You probably already know what's coming, but don't get ahead of me.

I was playing soldier one day [at Obachan’s (Japanese for “grandmother”) house], running up and down the front stairs when I saw this cat scratching around in the dirt on the side of the lawn that abutted the back end of Yogi Store (next to our "haole" guava tree). 

Like an Army Ranger, I sneaked up on the cat and grenaded it out of existence with a rubber ball.

There was this tempting dirt mound that beckoned me like a piece of sweet candy. Couldn't resist. Had to stick my fingers into the pile. My fingers plunged into what felt like soft, squishy warm bananas.

You know what it smelled like. And you know exactly what it was. They say in the books that cats hid their "doings" so that animals that prey on them won't know they're around. Well, the cat did his duty and I learned a lesson.

And I'm sure that as I stood there gagging, wiping the gooey stuff on the grass, that little bugger was hiding behind a tree, watching me, chuckling nasty little cat chuckles.

[Craig’s Note: You’re right. This story stinks.]

The Coldest Game (2019)

October 1962 was the scariest period of the post-World War II Cold War between the NATO powers (specifically the United States of America) and the Communist Warsaw Pact (specifically the Soviet Union).

It was the month of my 18th birthday, I was now eligible for the draft, and we learned that the U.S. had detected Soviet nuclear missile rockets on Cuba.

As a freshman at the University of Hawaii Manoa, I was required to take two years of ROTC (Reserve Officers’ Training Corps). In addition to weekly uniformed Air Force drills once a week, I was required to a class in discipline and strategy.

Our instructor advised us to pray because very soon, we’d be (1) drafted and sent to Cuba, or (2) dead from a nuclear attack.

The day that President John F. Kennedy announced the impending crisis was one of the scariest days of my life. Soviet warships were approaching the Caribbean, and American ships were poised to intercept them. Walking to ROTC class, I passed several groups of silent and worried male students huddled around portable transistor radios.

The Coldest Game stars Bill Pullman as former American chess champion Joshua Mansky, who’s called upon to play the Russian champ for the world championship. It turns out to be a tense political affair, full of intrigue, as the Cuban missile crisis is played out and he is pressured into winning.

Streaming on Netflix, the film has not gotten great reviews, but I liked it because I remembered the international situation of the time, bolstered with black and white TV coverage of the crisis. What unsettling memories it evoked.

My Summer of ‘75

Tilda Cobham-Hersey as Helen Reddy

It’s no secret that music has been a great influence in my life. In college (1965-68) I was a member of The Januaries, a folk trio (“two guitars, two guys and a gal”) in Los Angeles. Why I mention this is because of an experience I had in Las Vegas.

In June 1975, at the start of my term as president of the Honolulu Jaycees, I joined the Hawaii State Jaycees delegation to the Jaycees National Convention in Miami.

When the convention ended, two of my Jaycee friends and I met up with in Las Vegas. We stayed at Caesar’s Palace (no skimping, just first-class enjoyment). We also attended one of my more memorable dinner shows at the casino-hotel.

A nice $25 tip (that was big money those days) got us front row seats at a stage-side table. I forget what I ordered, but it was probably prime rib. What I do remember was the name of the expensive wine we ordered — Piesporter Goldtropfchen Reisling Spatlese (can’t recall the winery). It was so good that I searched it out when we returned home to Hawaii.

Around that time, Australian-American singer Helen Reddy was a huge success in the U.S. and after dinner, there she was, singing her hits on stage, only a few yards away from us. Comedian Ruth Buzzi opened the show. She wasn’t particularly special, but I did chuckle a lot, anxious to hear Reddy sing.

Her recording, “I Am Woman,” of course, was very popular and had soared up the charts. Up until the Vegas show, I had no idea what a powerful impact it had on women. Okay, I thought, here’s another woman trying to make it in a man’s world.

Maybe, I wondered, maybe I can learn something about her when she performed live.

I wasn’t disappointed. When she sang her anthem, “I Am Woman,” and the women in the audience joined in with great volume, enthusiasm, and power, it floored me. I got it. I became so emotional, felt a lump in my throat and tears welling up in my eyes. She received a standing ovation from all the women, and a helluva lotta men (me included).

This memory manifested recently when I watched her bio-pic, “I Am Woman,” on Netflix. It was so enjoyable! I learned a lot about the personal problems she had to bear, and sang along with her concerts, cementing in my heart how women had struggled for equality during my lifetime.

The closing scene, when she sang “I Am Woman” before thousands at the Lincoln Memorial during the 1989 “Mobilize for Women's Lives Rally” in Washington, D.C., was so emotionally powerful. Great cinematography, thousands — men included, me too — joined her in singing.

Where Hawai’i Ranks 52

We in Hawaii live in the happiest state, primarily because we have a high life expectancy. Okay, maybe not so good if we’re single.

Happiest States in America (WalletHub, 2020)

1. HAWAII
2. Utah
3. Minnesota 
4. New Jersey
5. Maryland

Worst States for Singles (WalletHub, 2021)

1. New Mexico
2. West Virginia
3. North Dakota
4. HAWAII
5. Arkansas

Life Expectancy, Male+Female (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Center for Disease Control and Prevention National Center for Health Statistics, 2021)

1. HAWAII (81)
2. California (80.8)
3. New York (tie) (80.5)
4. Minnesota (tie) (80.5)
5. Connecticut (80.4)

Life Expectancy, Male

1. California (tie) (78.4)
2. Minnesota (tie) (78.4)
3. New York (78.1)
4. HAWAII (78)
5. Connecticut (77.9)

Life Expectancy, Female

1. HAWAII (84)
2. California (83.1)
3. Connecticut (82.9)
4. New York (tie) (82.8)
5. Minnesota (tie) (82.6)

Random Musings 37

Does it make sense for a female ghost to wear a see-through negligee? 

* * * * *

I just realized that when I ripped a hole in my fishing net, I ended up with fewer holes than before.

* * * * *

If a predator retires, does it become a post-dator?

* * * * *

Do people with magnetic personalities gain weight because they get stuck to the refrigerator?

* * * * *

Is a fictional saga about seafaring oranges a ... naval navel novel?

A Candle Warms the Heart

When I was a cub reporter trainee for the Copley Los Angeles newspaper chain, my third posting was at the Burbank Daily Review.

My primary job was to write obituaries, of which there at least two a day. The work consisted of calling the local funeral parlors and gathering the information about the recently departed.

I took this responsibility seriously, and within a couple of days became a fairly good obit writer. So much so that the city editor sent me to cover the funeral of a noted courtroom lawyer. As I didn’t keep a copy of the story, I don’t remember his name.

But ... but, I do remember the words in his eulogy “He was a candle whose light punched holes in the dark.” I used the quote in my story, and it became part of the headline. To this day, I’ve never forgotten it.

When I began creating memes for my Facebook page, one of my first was based on that quotation. Recalling and retrieving that meme was a very emotional moment, as memories escaped and a renewed spirt overwhelmed me.

And I’ve come to love candles and what they represent — brightness when all seems dark and forlorn, guiding illumination that helps us find our way when we’re lost, a fragile treasure whose light must be protected from the elements.

Candles make occasional appearances in my life of memes, knocking on the doors of my mind and crowding into my thoughts.

I’ve added them to my album of inspiring and positive memes ...

To my album of song-lyric memes ...

And even my album of daily coffee memes (I should create more of these) ...

Now it’s YOUR turn. Light your own candle, venture into the dark, and start punching holes.

Christmas Song Memes

Christmas has been my favorite time of year, even more so now that I can’t travel due to physical demands and the current COVID-19 pandemic restrictions.

During the past few months, I let my meme creation activities get a bit out of hand. My inspiring/positive meme collection has burgeoned, as has my folder of song-lyric inspired memes.

I took a side turn a couple of weeks ago as Thanksgiving passed and the Christmas season loomed. What resulted was a collection of memes based on Christmas songs.

Steered clear of traditional songs, I concentrated on songs I remember hearing on the radio since the ‘50s. Enjoy, and I hope they tickle your memory, inspiring you to start singing. Enjoy!

A Holly Jolly Christmas

(Burl Ives)

All I Want for Christmas is You

(Mariah Carey)

The Chipmunk Song

(David Seville, Alvin and the Chipmunks)

The Christmas Song

(Nat King Cole)

Feliz Navidad

(José Feliciano)

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

(Judy Garland)

Here Comes Santa Claus

(Gene Autry)

I’ll Be Home for Christmas

(Bing Crosby)

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

(Jimmy Boyd)

Jingle Bell Rock

(Bobby Helms)

Joy to the World

(Celtic Woman)

Let It Snow!

(Vaughn Monroe, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra)

Little Drummer Boy

(Bing Crosby and David Bowie)

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree

(Brenda Lee)

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

(Gene Autry)

Santa Claus Is Coming to Town

(The Jackson Five)

Silver Bells

(Bing Crosby)

Sleigh Ride

(The Ronettes)

We Need a Little Christmas

(Angela Lansbury)

Welcome Christmas

(“How the Grinch Stole Christmas”)

White Christmas

(Bing Crosby)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!