The Stella Awards, Part 1 of 2

Maybe you don’t remember Stella Liebeck of New Mexico, but she’s had such an effect on your life. She’s the one who sued McDonald’s because she got scalded with hot coffee. See, while riding in her grandson’s car, she took the cover off, put the cup between her knees, and … yikes! So she sued McDonald’s (what?) and in a seemingly strange verdict, won $640,000.

I found her picture on Google Images, but will refrain from using it here … can’t be too careful, you know, she just might sue me.

The Stella Awards were named after her … And the 2013 awards have been released. Here are the 7^th, 6^th, 5^th and 4^th place winners. I’ll share top winners with you the day after tomorrow.

Seventh Place

A woman, Kathleen Robertson, broke her ankle when she tripped over a kid running inside an Austin, TX, furniture store. Funny thing is, IT WAS HER OWN KID. The unfunny thing is, she was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers.

Sixth Place

When his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda, 19-year-old Los Angelino Carl Truman sued him. He didn’t notice there was anyone behind the wheel … WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO STEAL THE HUBCAPS. Truman was awarded $74,000 plus medical expenses.

Fifth Place

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, PA, had to survive for eight days on a case of Pepsi and a bag of dry dog food when he was trapped in a garage with a malfunctioning door opener. So, he sued the homeowner’s insurance company. He said he suffered mental anguish. So what’s the big deal with his $500,000 mental anguish award? HE WAS TRYING TO BURGLARIZE THE HOUSE and entered through the garage.

Fourth Place

This guy, Jerry Williams of Little Rock, AR, got $14,500 plus medical expenses because his neighbor’s chained beagle bit him on the butt. He might have gotten more, except the jury was a little skeptical. After all, wouldn’t any dog get angry if you did what he did? HE HAD SHOT THE DOG REPEATED WITH A PELLET GUN.

(To Be Continued)