Clever Puns Crack Me Up

Here’s a small collection, culled from a long list posted on Facebook.

• The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
• I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
• A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
• No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
• Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
• The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
• A backward poet writes inverse.
• In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.