Tuesday, April 4, 2017

A Call for Help?

Lately, I've been waking up with songs on my mind, and they hang inside my head, invading the nooks and crannies of my brain. They linger and feed on my wants, my needs, my fears, and my subconscious.

They hang and hang and hang like soft and comfy sweaters in a clothes closet, morphing into full-blown ear worms. Perhaps they're precursors of what's just around the corner for me? I really couldn't say.

But listen: For the past few days, it's been Peter, Paul & Mary's "Early in the Morning." No big deal, you say, of course it's early in the morning. That's what I thought too. But it's been recurring.

And then, I paid attention to what the ear worm was singing to me (indulgence requested):

Well, early in the morning, about the break of day,

I ask the Lord, "Help me find the way!"

Help me find the way to the promised land,

This lonely body needs a helping hand,

I ask the Lord to help me please find the way.

When the new day's a-dawning, I bow my head in prayer.
I pray to the Lord, "Won't you lead me there?"
Won't you guide me safely to the Golden Stair?
Won't you let this body your burden share?
I pray to the Lord, "Won't you lead me please, lead me there?"

When the judgment comes to find the world in shame
When the trumpet blows, won't you call my name?
When the thunder rolls and the heavens rain
When the
sun turns black, never shine again
When the trumpet blows, won't you call me please, call my name!

Do I have any lingering inner suspicions that I may have lost my way in life? Has advancing old age resigned me to the possibility that the end is near? Do I need reassurance that my soul and spirit will be okay when I die? Do I need to reaffirm my faith?

Am I afraid of dying? 

Earth, Wind & Fire's song lyrics have always expressed my attitude on dying so well: I'm not scared of dying, and I don't really care. If there's peace you find in dying, well, then let the time be near.

I'm not afraid, but I would like some reassurance.


Carolyn said...

You are not alone in wondering what the meaning is to you. I've had some of the same "wonderings" myself of late. I wonder if I am so tired (from working extremely long hours) and I feel as though my "life" is just working all the time. I've never wondered about such things, always been a workaholic, but this year ~ it's given me pause to wonder "Is this all there is." People who are incapacitated will all tell you "I thought I had more time" to do this or that. Have I been thinking the same way? Am I now realizing time is getting shorter to do whatever it is that I think I want to do? Ok, now I'm probably rambling again. Just know you aren't alone and maybe we ARE being advised to "take care of ourselves" in one way or another.

Craig Miyamoto said...

Thank you so much for your deep and important thoughts, Carolyn!

~ Craig