Thursday, April 3, 2014

Real Definitions

I get funny email. Here's a list of "real definitions" sent to me by a good friend. I don't know who thinks these things up, but they're major punsters and I applaud them for their fine efforts.

But enough talk from me. You may have seen some or all of these before, but let's get on with it:
  • Adult:  Someone who's stopped growing at both ends but not in the middle.
  • Beauty Parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.
  • Chicken: The only animal you eat before it's born and after it's dead.
  • Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
  • Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
  • Handkerchief: Cold storage.
  • Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
  • Mosquito: An insect that makes you like flies better.
  • Raisin: A grape with sunburn.
  • Secret: Something you tell to one person at a time.
  • Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
  • Toothache:  The pain that drives you to extraction.
  • Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
  • Wrinkles: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.
  • Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.
See what I mean? And you thought I was out in left field.

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