Christmas Gift Fair for Cowpokes

Looks like a Levi's convention to me

I had planned to attend this today; I just hadn’t planned to do it so early.

As you may recall, I didn’t get a chance to see the cowboys in action at the Wrangler Championship Rodeo – at the University of Nevada Las Vegas’ Thomas and Mack Arena – yesterday because I was unwilling to buy a mad-dash ticket.

And that’s why I hit the Cowboy Christmas Gift Fair early. And as luck may have it, the Fates stepped in. Almost as soon as I entered the Las Vegas Convention Center parking lot, somebody pulled out only two row s from the crosswalk, and one space from the end. Yeehaw!

Jeeze Louise … every cowboy and cowboy wanna-be, every cowgirl and cowgirl wanna-be, every significant other and all their kids were jamming into the hall. I saw more blue jeans than a Levis convention, I saw more cowboy hats than a Western movie, and I heard more country-western music than I ever have in my life.

You know what whopped my jaws? The young girls. They were getting silly over who was scheduled to give autographs. I mean, I never heard of these people. They may be stars, but not to me. And whenever a new song came blaring out over the speakers, those young girls were singing away at the top of their lungs.

It kind of reminded me of when I went to the movie, Grease, and sat behind some junior high girls. It was eerie. When the characters started singing on-screen, there was this faint background singing in the theater … the young girls. That’s kind of what it was like in the big hall.

Talk about western stuff. There were hats, boots, belts, saddles, horse statues, Indian garb, knives, rifles, tee-shirts, socks, hankies, fur jackets for men, fur jackets for women, fur jackets for their kids, leather steering wheel covers, hardware belts, fishing rods and reels, lures and creels, salsa by the jar, longhorn heads, bison heads, wolf fur, stuffed birds, stuffed wildcats, teepees, beef jerky, sheep jerky, what looked like mule jerky, snakeskin holsters, lariats, bullwhips, spurs going jingle-jangle-jingle, ladies with big hair and kerchiefs, girls with big hair and kerchiefs … ah lordie, it was a cowboy paradise.

I almost expected Roy Rogers and Gene Autry to materialize out of thin air whenever I turned a corner. And if you don’t know who they are, then … then … get out of my face, ya young whipper-snapper.

Gotta say, I felt a little out of it – didn’t know anything or anybody cowboy or country-western related. But as Burt Reynolds told Sally Field in Smokey and the Bandit, I guess how stupid you are depends on what part of the country you’re from.

I can take some solace from that wise observation. It ain’t my fault that I felt stupid.

How ‘bout a few pictures of some cowboy-related stuff:

American Indian stuff, plus stuffed stuff

Bison and Texas Longhorn heads

Looks like wolf fur to me

Cowboy hats on a rack and in stacks

Yeehaw Day Was Not To Be

When I stepped off the plane last night at McCarren International Airport, I already had plans for today. An article in the inflight magazine noted that the rodeo was back in town. They were in Las Vegas the last time I was here back in October, but I didn't have time to go.

The last time I was at a real rootin' tootin' rodeo was back in the late '60s when a bunch of us college kids went to one at the Rose Bowl. All I remember about that one was that the participants looked not so big ... we were pretty high up. There was one moment of excitement when one of the ancilliary performers was doing stunts and fell pretty hard. They had to carry him off.

As soon as I could, I drove over to the University of Las Vegas' Thomas & Mack Center to see if I could get in. They'd been here since the start of the week and were winding it up tonight and tomorrow.

First problem - parking. I had to walk about a quarter mile across a vast and empty parking lot to get to the ticket office. Then the bad news. They were sold out for the rest of the event.

I could, however, buy a "mad dash" ticket that would enable me to stand around and make a mad dash to an empty seat if there was no one there. The problem of course is the real occupants might arrive and kick me out. But the bigger problem was that there going to be a lot of mad dashers trying to block me out of a seat. Kind of like musical chairs on cowboy steroids.

So I said gosh darn it, ma'am in my best cowboy polite talk, tipped my hat and thank you kindly but that's not my style.

Know what I did then? I did the next best thing and joined all the other cowboys in town at the Cowboy Christmas Fair, raht thar, smacky dab in the new-fangled Las Vegas Convention Center thangie on Paradise Road.

I'll tell you about it tomorrow.

Le-e-e-eaving on a Jet Plane

Heading out to Sin City this afternoon - Las Vegas, that is.

I'll be there through Tuesday night, Dec. 13, so my Wandering blog posts will be a bit spotty (obviously that means I'm taking my laptop with me this time).

Hey, I know I was there in late October, but what the heck, I found a good deal with Vacations Hawaii (with first-class airfare and no baggage fees, including a room and meals at the California Hotel).

Therefore ... Las Vegas, here I come. Cya there.

Only One Thing, She Promised

Yesterday was one of those "I gotta pick up prescription meds at Costco" days, and as usual, my plan was to drive there, run in and pick up the prescription order I'd called in the day before.

Zip there, zip in, zip out, zip home.

Stupid me, I made the mistake of telling the wife what I was planning to do. She glommed onto me like a flea on a dog and before I knew it, we were both in the car headed to Costco. The new plan was for her to drop me off, find parking, and come find me.

Our conversation just as we got there:

Wife: I need to get one thing, only one thing, for dinner.
Me (naively): Okies, I'll get a wagon and you can find me.
Wife: Right (grinning evily).
Me (ten minutes later): . o ( Got the meds, I'll go wait in the DVD/Blu-Ray aisle. )
Wife: I'm here. Let's go get dinner. But first, let's get a couple of cases of Sunny-D.
Me (loading the cart): Okay.
Wife: Maybe I should get some crispy one ton chips to take to the neighbors for Christmas.
Me (loading the cart): Okay.
Wife: There are only two ribs packs there.
Me: They're fine. I'll get one.
Wife: Okay. How about those stuffed portabello mushrooms?
Me: (loading the cart): Okay.
Wife: I'll get a couple of flank steaks for dinner another time.
Me: (loading the cart): Okay.
Wife: Go pay for this, I need to go outside and buy a chicken wrap for mom.
Me: Okay.

The upshot? We spent $140. More than "just one thing for dinner." That would have been the spare ribs for $18.

See?

More than 'Just One Thing for Dinner'

The moral of the story? There ain't no such thing as "Only one more thing." When will I ever learn?

Well, It's About Time

On Tuesday, Nov. 22, I bought a new computer at Best Buy (Dell Inspiron All-in-One with a 23-inch touchscreen, 4 GB memory, and 500 GB hard disk) - plenty big and fast enough for what I do.

I also paid for their Geek Squad set-up and restore service, so I could at least cut down on some installation work. The software included Word Office, and Trend Titanium Anti-Virus. They asked for my mobile phone number and said they'd call me when it was ready.

I am here to tell you that I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally yesterday morning, I got a message on my phone saying the computer was ready for pickup, and that in fact, it had been ready for some time. That bothered me more than just a little, so I told the nice girl at the pick-up desk (a geek expert, I presume) that if I were called when it WAS ready, I could have had it up and running by now and could have been playing with it all this time.

She did apologize profusely, and agreed that the two-week wait was very inconvenient and unacceptable, and certainly atypical. And she promised to make an issue of it with the person or persons responsible. Fine and dandy, but I was tempted to demand some kind of remuneration - a discount or gift card, perhaps.

But I didn't, because I'm such a nice guy, and in the general scheme of things, I have my new computer.

Where Hawaii Ranks 7

Are we at the top of a good list? Or are we at the top of a bad list. No matter. It’s just interesting to find out where Hawaii or Honolulu rank in the general and specific scheme of things.

Average Monthly Rent (U.S. Census Bureau, 2010)

1.       HAWAII ($1,291)

2.       District of Columbia ($1,198)

3.       California ($1,163)

4.       Maryland ($1,131)

5.       New Jersey ($1,114) 

Grandparents Responsible for Grandkids (U.S. Census Bureau 2010) 

1.       HAWAII (23.0%)

2.       New Jersey (26.5%)

3.       California (27.1%)

4.       Massachusetts (27.7%)

5.       New York (30.2%) 

Lowest 2011 Second Quarter Personal Income Growth (Bureau of Economic Analysis, 2011) 

1.       Washington (0.7%)

2.       Georgia (0.7%)

3.       HAWAII (0.9%)

4.       New York (0.9%)

5.       Delaware (0.9%) 

Happiest States (Gallup-Healthways, 2011) 

1.       HAWAII (71 out of 100 points)

2.       Wyoming (69.2)

3.       North Dakota (68.4)

4.       Alaska (68.3)

5.       Colorado and Minnesota (68.0) 

Best U.S. Beach (Dr. Beach, 2011) 

1.       Siesta Beach (Sarasota, FL)

2.       Coronado Beach (San Diego, CA)

3.       KAHANAMOKU BEACH (WAIKIKI, HONOLULU, HI)

4.       Main Beach (East Hampton, NY)

5.       Cape Hatteras (Outer Banks, NC)

O Tannenbaum Update

You may be happy (or like me, relieved) to learn that the wife found the two boxes of Christmas ornaments that she'd stored away so well last year and that I reported lost forever a couple of days ago. Turns out they were hiding behind a huge bag of stuff in the garage storage room.

Of course, we'd already purchased some new bulbs and stuff, so I imposed my will and declared that it didn't matter if we found the old stuff, we were going to use the new stuff and dispose of the old. Y'know, make the much-needed change.

Except for the old skirt - we kept that. And the Santa tree topper - we kept that also. And, of course, we're keeping the gift ornaments as well.

We didn't have enough lights, however, but instead of attaching last year's strings to this year's new LED light strings, I'm going to trash the old ones.

The wife volunteered to go back to the store and get more, however. See, I had let her talk me into buying only 100 lights, Against my better judgement. I should have known better, she has no concept of measurement (time, volume, length, etc.). So she went back for more.

She also likes the star topper. It changes color, and frankly, it looks pretty good. We'll keep Mr. Antique Santa in his box this year, at least for now. I have other plans for him.

So ... we're all set for this year. Now all I have to do is wrap up the presents and we're all ready. Congratulate me, I made it through another furshluginer raising of the tannenbaum.

Flat Rat

I've heard that some animals can squeeze through some mighty narrow openings - an octopus, for example, or even a cockroach.

Felt sorry for this rat, however. It looks as though it wanted to squeeze between a car tire and the asphalt. Obviously, its attempt didn't work.

In the parking tot of the State of Hawaii's Kekuanao'a (Territorial State Office) Building yesterday, I saw a whole bunch of flies buzzing around this flat thing on the ground. On closer look, I could make out only three things: a tail, two feet, and a whole lotta fur.

Yep, a dead rat. A FLAT rat.

I was tempted to pick it up by the tail and have the wife take a picture of me displaying the dead rat like a proud fisherman, but decided not to. The flies might object to that, and I've seen enough demon movies to know that flies can be a nasy thing.

Where’s Waldo?

Lemme change that. This has nothing to do with Waldo. It’s even more puzzling than Waldo, with even more exhausting results.

See, the wife went and bought a Christmas tree on Wednesday, even though I told her I’d go with her on Thursday (yesterday). You know how it is when you have an itch to do something? No one or nothing is going to stand in your way. That’s how she felt yesterday. And, knowing how I really want to get an artificial tree, she decided (I think) to trump me and get a real one right away.

Fine and dandy. I told her I’d put it up yesterday and get the ball rolling. She said great, she’d go dig out the Christmas ornaments and such.

Well, I was ready around noon time and told her to go get the tree stand, I’d wait.

About a half hour later (a half hour!), she came to tell me she couldn’t find the stand or any of the ornament boxes. So I helped her look. We opened every closet and cupboard, looked in every nook and cranny, under the beds, in the drawers … a lot of where we looked didn’t make sense because the stuff was in two pretty big boxes.

She swears she had them “right there” and now they’ve disappeared. Goodness gracious.

But y’know, in the general scheme of things, it was no big deal, at least not anything worth crying over (except for some special ornaments we’d collected over the years that were given to us by dear friends). Except for the memories, everything could be replaced.

So off we went in the afternoon on a Christmas safari – found a tree stand (better than the one we had), found some coordinated ornaments and garlands and new LED lights. We got a new tree skirt that looked almost like the one we brought over from California when we moved back in 1972, we found a cute Mickey Mouse stocking for our grandson, and we even found a good deal on gift boxes.

The only thing we had trouble finding was a Christmas tree topper. We’d brought back an old-fashioned fabric Santa that used to sit all lit up on top of our tree since our first son was born. That’s 45 years ago. If there’s any ornament I’ll really miss, it’s that Santa. Oh well, that’s just the way it goes.

But … as I said, we had trouble finding a suitable tree topper. We went all over the place, and nothing really caught our fancy. I remember stores used to have lots of them on sale. Not yesterday. We settled for a star with changing light colors that’s okay … just okay … but not awe-inspiring. I think I’ll go online and see if I can get one, if not this year, then for next year.

The big question remaining is where the heck are the missing ornaments? This is going to bug the wife for a while, I’m sure. Oh well, that’s what she gets for not agreeing to get an artificial tree. Heheheh.

My Ding Dong Balls

My Chinese health balls, that is. Why? What were you thinking of?

A very good friend sent these to me during a Christmas ornament exchange, with hopes, I guess, that they would help me relax, make me happier, and improve my health.

According to a little card included with the balls, their use dates back to the Ming Dynasty (1369-1644), and supposedly, using them can stimulate the various acupuncture points in the hand.

Within the balls are bells that produce quiet, subtle clangs - one high, one slightly lower (hence the "ding dong" in the title above). It's thought this aids physical strength and removes disease such as headaches, high blood pressure, nervousness and arthritis.

I love rolling them around in the hands - clockwise in the right, and counter-clockwise in the left.

See? I feel better already.