Hilo Days: Pooped Out for Real

Were you ever so uneasy, uncomfortable, frightened, or traumatized that you pooped your pants? I did just that, and I’ll never forget it. Here’s the little story I wrote about that stinky experience in my long-gone “Hilo Days” website. Enjoy, but hold your nose.

A Traumatic First Day

The first day of Riverside School, I shit my pants.

Honest! Here I was, a first-time first-grader, being dropped off by Dad, who pointed out the first-grade classroom, got me steered in the right direction, then drove off to work.

My stomach dropped. Something else dropped too—a golf ball-sized lump of stuff.

I've always wondered if anyone else smelled it. They probably did, but nobody said anything about it. I went through the whole day with this lump in my shorts. When I got home, I finally got rid of it.

We all had a good laugh about it, but I can tell you that my laughter was due more to relief that I made it through the first day, than because I thought it was funny.

And I bet Mom and Dad also wondered if anyone had smelled it. I'll bet they were embarrassed "in absentia."

But wait a minute -- think about this: What if EVERY kid in my class had a lump in his/her pants as well? Huh? What if they all did it too? Can you imagine 30 kids, all self-conscious, all with doo-doo between their legs.

And what if the teacher also had ... nah, can't be.