A Fishy Story

Hawaii State Capitol

About a year ago, the reflecting pond surrounding Hawaii’s state capitol building in downtown Honolulu suddenly was repopulated with fish after being devoid of aquatic life for about a decade.

The funny thing is, the people in charge had no idea how they got there. In a figurative blink of an eye, schools of tilapia were scooting around the pond, merry as can be.

Tilapia, as you may know, are the fish made famous in the Bible. You know, the story where Jesus fed the multitudes with just a few of the finny fellows? Yep, that fish.

Anyway, fish were not supposed to be put in the ponds because, although the fish eat algae, they process the algae internally, and that produces fishy poop, and THAT is algae fertilizer. The result? A kind of perpetual, self-sustaining cycle of algae-poop-algae-poop.

As far as I know, the fish are still there … reproducing … and pooping.

Up in Smoke

I used to smoke. I don’t anymore because I quit cold turkey 46 years ago. Good thing too. And I’m just talking about economics, not health.

When I was a college kid, cigarettes were 25¢ a pack for Kool filters. If you decided to smoke a manly cigarette and forego the filter, Lucky Strikes or Camels cost only 20¢ a pack when bought in a carton of 10 packs.

At the height of my smoking, I was sucking on two packs of ciggies a day. That’s a lotta t’backy smoke being filtered by my lungs. And that translated to 40¢ to 50¢ a day … $2.80 to $3.50 a week … upwards of $234.00 a year.

The other day, at Safeway Supermarket, I saw this display:

On sale, cigarettes cost $8.59 a pack (and that’s pretty much a low promotional price, as I’ve seen prices in excess of $9.00). Most of that cost, in case you’re not aware, goes to taxes and not the tobacco companies.

If I were still smoking two packs a day today, my annual expense would exceed $6,250.00. Compare that to $234.00 back in the day.

I made a smoove move back then when I quit.

A Big Ship



The Golden Princess

Every now and then, drivers along Nimitz Boulevard slow their cars to gaze at one of the huge cruise ships berthed at Honolulu Harbor.

Just the other day, the “Golden Princess” was in town, completely dominating Pier 11 next to the Aloha Tower Marketplace. It’s one of five Princess Cruises ships that will visit the islands this year.

It’s a huge bugger, with six dining rooms and another half-dozen casual eateries, 1,300 cabins, a 2,600-passenger capacity served by a crew of 1,100. It’s the length of more than three football fields and weighs 109,000 tons.

That’s pretty big … a whole lotta ship.

2011 Hawaii Collectors’ Expo

The wife and I took in the 21^st annual Hawaii Collectors’ Expo yesterday at the Neal Blaisdell Center Galleria exhibition hall near downtown Honolulu. In past years, I’ve set up at the show, selling stamps and other philatelic collectibles.

So naturally we bumped into a lot of people we know there, including one of Hawaii’s most famous collectors … my friend Gerald Kwock.


 Gerald Kwock

You name it, he collects it – old aloha shirts, records, high school albums, marbles, Hawaiiana, stamps, coins, postcards, commercial laundry hangers, bottles, milk caps … why, I’ve even seen him displaying and selling an old fishing net with those green Japanese glass floats. It’s always good to catch up with Gerald.

And it’s fun to wander the aisles and see what’s being sold. It’s amazing, the variety of items. And what’s more amazing is that people buy the stuff.

We collectors are a breed apart, that’s for sure.

A few of the photos I took at the show:

One of the Many Aisles

Nicely Presented "Stuff"

Hawaiiana "Kitsch"

Antique Bottles

Commercial Laundry Hangers

The Collectors’ Expo continues today, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Be there, or be square.

Random Musings 7

Y’know, I think I figured out why older people are better at crossword puzzles than youngsters. It’s because we know so many cross words.

* * * * *

I have a hard time napping. I think it’s my subconscious telling me not to nap or I’ll sleep through my 15 minutes of fame.

* * * * *

When the wife’s insistent jabbering kept getting on my nerves, I wondered … What if I put Preparation H into her toothpaste tube? Would it shrink her mouth?

* * * * *

I plan to buy a coloring book app for my e-book reader, but first I have to figure out how to clean the screen after I’m done coloring a picture. I don’t want to ruin the screen, you see.

* * * * *

To some people, marriage is like a hot bath … after a while, it’s not so hot. But not me, oh no, not me.

Horror-Scopes

What’s guy to do? The astronomers trumped the astrologers and changed the Zodiac around. Consequently, I am no longer a Libran but have been relegated to the ranks of the Virgins.

And that is all well and good.

Except that …

According to my horoscope in this morning’s newspaper, as a Virgin, today I’m supposed to “Take another person’s opinions with a grain of salt.” As a Libran, however, I am told to “Listen to what’s happening with a friend.”

Totally diametrically opposed to each other. And that’s just plain stupid.

So, my dilemma – should I deign to accept it” Do I still rely on the old Zodiac? Or cast it away and align myself with the new Zodiac?

See? This is why I don’t read the daily “horror-scopes” any more.

A Grateful Sign

So the wife and I were walking through a little shopping area called City Square in lower Kalihi when she pointed up to a sign and said, “Look! Thang II.”

Highly respectful of her observations, I looked up at the sign, turned to her, and said, “You’re welcome!”

The doctor says the red handprint on my cheek should go away in a couple of days.

Gone, But Not Forgotten

Installed on the railing separating the New Otani Kaimana Beach Hotel’s outdoor restaurant, The Hau Tree Lanai, from Sans Souci Beach is this simple plaque honoring of all things – a hamburger stand (specifically, the Kaimana Beach Hamburger Stand).

Hamburger Stand Memorial Plaque

In 1983, the hotel was ordered to remove a small hamburger stand it operated at the spot for the convenience of beach-goers and guests who wanted something to nibble on between forays into the water. The stand apparently violated zoning laws.

More than 5,000 people signed a petition supporting the stand, newspapers wrote editorials, readers wrote letters to the editor, and politicians stuck their noses in (they knew a good publicity battle when they saw one).

Alas, the hotel lost its final appeal two years later, and in 1985, the stand was removed.

All that remains now of the hamburger stand is the fading memory of old-timers, and this corroding plaque.

It’s in the Bag

When I was in high school, one of my summer jobs was being a bag boy at Pick and Pay Supermarket in Hilo.

Baggers these days have it so easy. All they do is put the stuff in bags (paper or plastic or customer bags), load ‘em in carts, and the customers wheel the carts out to their cars.

Why in my day, we actually carried the stuff out. The store was on an unpaved lot, so we baggers had to carry the customers’ purchases out to their cars. Believe me, it was hard work, often requiring more than one trip back to the checkout counter.

There were no plastic bags with handles, and I don't recall there being brown paper grocery bags either. What we used were cartons – small, big and medium-sized  –  that the canned goods came in.

But y’know, it was good, all good. We got our exercise and got to know the customers. Some of them actually tipped us a dime (those were the days when a dime could buy you a doughnut or a comic book, so the tip was appreciated).

I bring all this up because last week, a young lady named Krystal Smith from Burlington, Vermont, because America’s top grocery bagger. The 24-year-old won the Golden Grocery Bag trophy at the National Best Bagger Championship in Las Vegas.

The big prize (in addition to bragging rights and a huge trophy) was a $10,000 check from ConAgra Foods, the competition’s organizers.

It only took her 38 seconds to stuff the stuff in paper bags.

I would have tipped her a dime too!

Aloha Koi Show III

There were a couple of other things going on at the Aloha Koi Show this past weekend, one of which on the surface didn’t seem to have a thing to do with the beautiful nishikigoi fish on display.

Kids were given the opportunity of learning how to fold paper into representations of koi – the Japanese art of origami. The technique they used at the koi show was very simple and not very difficult for little hands to create.

Also on display were some bonsai plants that actually are relevant to koi culture. Many koi enthusiasts work as hard on their ponds as they do raising their fish, and the bonsai lend an authentic air to pond landscaping.

You got a lot for your money at the koi show … because the price of admission was the regular price for the aquarium itself. The koi show was an extra added attraction.

Can’t wait for next year? Join the Aloha Koi Appreciation Society. They’re online.