Sunday, February 7, 2016

Where Hawaii Ranks 38

Here are five more “Best/Worst” lists in which Hawaii or Honolulu is mentioned. Top five results as usual, except for a few where I couldn't find lower-ranking states for the category.

Worst U.S. Airport Food (AirportXP, Phoenix Marketing International, 2015)
  1. HONOLULU INTERNATIONAL (45% Customer Satisfaction)
  2. Ronald Reagan Washington National (50%)
  3. Tampa International (53%)
Happiest States in America (Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, 2014)
  1. Alaska
  2. HAWAII
  3. South Dakota
  4. Wyoming
  5. Montana
Pedestrian Fatalities in Traffic Accidents (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, 2015)
  1. District of Columbia (39%)
  2. New Jersey (30%)
  3. Rhode Island (27%)
  4. HAWAII (25%) (Hawaii also ranks #1 in traffic accident pedestrian fatalities ages 65+, and #1 in ages 75+.)
Lowest Monthly Median Starting Salary (WalletHub, 2015)
(Adjusted for Cost of Living)
  1. HONOLULU, HI
  2. Brownsville, TX
  3. Santa Rosa, CA
  4. Oxnard, CA
  5. Irving, CA
Lowest Housing Affordability (WalletHub, 2015)
(Most Unaffordable Housing)
  1. Miami, FL
  2. Newark, NJ
  3. HONOLULU, HI
  4. Glendale, CA
  5. Los Angeles, CA

Friday, February 5, 2016

Emus 1, Australian Army 0

Esmeralda the Emu, Kentucky Down Under (Photo by Craig)
When I visited Kentucky Down Under in Cave, Kentucky, ‘way back in 2011, I had a jolly interface with a real, live emu. Y’know, it was one of the ugliest birds I’ve ever seen. Big too, about 6-feet tall when its head was held high.

I dubbed it Esmeralda because … well, just because.

Anyway, at the time, I had no idea what historical influence the emu had in its native Australia. Only recently did I find out about Australia’s Great Emu War of 1932.

See, during one of the annual migrations of emu from inlands to the coast, the birds discovered ample cleared lands and water in Western Australia’s farmlands. They ate the farmer’s crops, ruining the marginal farmland.

The farmers, many of whom were Australian and British veterans of World War I, were furious and demanded that the government do something about the problem. The Australian government capitulated and in October sent Maj. GPW Meredith and two soldiers to eliminate the problem.

Emu "Solder"
(Rbrn.com)
Unfortunately, heavy rainfall delayed the actual operation until November. But the tactics they used failed. Ambushing 1,000 emus, their guns jammed and the birds fled. They stalked the herd, killing 50 birds by Nov. 8 before withdrawing.

The emus persisted and four days later, military action resumed, eliminating a total of about 980 emus.

But gangs of emu are persistent if nothing else, and the farmers requested more military involvement in 1934, 1943 and 1938. But the Australian government had enough and turned a blind eye to the requests.

Winner: The emus.

I kid you not.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

What the Hexx Going On?


The Sugar Factory at the Paris Hotel & Casino on the Las Vegas Strip has always been calling my name, but thinking it was just a dessert place, I never took the time to try it out. And then, when I finally did, it was too late.

In March 2015, it was renamed and re-conceptualized. It's now called "Hexx Kitchen + Bar."

The View from My Table
"Hex," of course, means a whole bunch of things, including a black magic spell. I always thought it also meant "jinx." Maybe that's not what the Hexx owners meant, but they may have accidentally hexed Hexx.

I had breakfast there in December, and a couple of little things went wrong.

First of all, the chair in the outside patio dining area was butt bone bruising uncomfortable because of the vinyl-coated metal-wire weave design. Uh huh ...

Then, my waitress Julia, a lovely, personable young lady, was late with my coffee and apple juice. She said she was clumsily delayed because she knocked them off her tray. Her self-admonition: "I am anything but graceful." Uh huh ...

Then, halfway through my banana-nut French toast, I had to remind her about my side order of sausage. She went to check and when upon returning with them, apologized before saying, "The "kitchen read the order wrong." Uh huh ...
 

The French toast with bananas and berries was not bad, but although the sausages were tasty, they were dry (not juicy inside in the least). Uh huh ...
 
There was a couple seated next to me who wanted lunch. Unfortunately for them, lunch started at 11 a.m. and they were 12 minutes early. So they just sat there and had to talk to each other.

They looked mighty uncomfortable (must have married for a few years and were all talked out), so he whipped out his mobile phone to kill time.

She, on the other hand, occupied herself with a minute-by-minute, then a final 10-second countdown, to 11 o'clock. Then, she announced "Bingo! It's eleven!" before lapsing into silence. And him? He grunted.

Twelve minutes later, Julia finally brought them menus and was advised, "We're starving." Uh huh ...

Definitely "Hexxed."

Monday, February 1, 2016

Phone Pix 62: Grocery Produce

We sure are lucky to live in America ... Hawaii in particular. Not only are we offered fresh fruits and vegetables from around the world, we also can select those that are grown here in Hawaii.

Maybe that's why I like to take phone pictures in supermarkets. The offerings are so fantastic, they're enough to make a more unfortunate visitor break down and cry.

To wit:

Papayas, Aug. 12, 2013, Foodland Supermarket, Honolulu, HI
 
Okra, Aug. 20, 2013, Chinatown
Marketplace, Honolulu, HI
 
Mini-Pumpkins, Oct. 8, 2013, Safeway Manoa, Honolulu, HI
 
Vine-Ripened Tomatoes, Aug. 14, 2014, Trader Joe's, Fremont, CA
 
Nectarines, Aug. 18, 2014, Sprouts, Fremont, CA
 
Apples, Nov. 13, 2014, Times Vineyard, Honolulu, HI
 
Various Chinese "Choy," Nov. 22, 2014, Marukai Market,
Honolulu, HI
 
Broccoli, Nov. 22, 2014, Times Beretania, Honolulu, HI
 
Nectarines, June 9, 2015, Costco, Honolulu, HI

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Lucky We Live Hawaii

Family Circus
 
I'm telling you, there are times like this (the dead of winter on the mainland) that we in Hawaii are grateful we don't have to deal with children who have this problem.

Friday, January 29, 2016

Breakfast Beppo-ing at the Buca


With 92 restaurants (five in the United Kingdom), chances are there's a Buca dI Beppo Italian Ristorante somewhere you. Did you know that Buca, Inc., is owned by Planet Hollywood?


There are four Buca di Beppos in Las Vegas — one near the Atomic Testing Museum on Flamingo, one in Summerlin, and one at the Excalibur Hotel & Casino. Since summer 2014, there's also a hybrid Buca Cafè Italiano in the Bally's Hotel where I stayed recently.

(Stupid question here: If they're owned by Planet Hollywood, how come there isn't one at the Planet Hollywood Hotel on the Las Vegas Strip?)


Anyway ... The Bally's location has a simple all-day buffet, or one can order separate breakfast or lunch dishes for singles. The dinner entrees are sized to feed two. Since I was staying at Bally's, I went there for breakfast one day and discovered that they have a pretty basic breakfast menu, nothing very fancy or innovative.


I had New York steak and eggs. Unfortunately, although nicely medium rare, parts of the steak were a bit on the tough side. I should have ordered ham and eggs. It's too bad Buca Cafè Italiano is the only restaurant serving sit-down breakfasts at Bally's.

By the way, "Buca dI Beppo" loosely translates as "Joe's Basement" — "Buca" is a Tuscan slang word for "basement," and  "Beppo" is a nickname for "Giuseppe" ("Joseph" in Italian).

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Where to Cut?

 
This panel appeared in a CVS Long's Drug advertising supplement recently.

My question is: From which end of the condom are they going to take 30% off? The opening end, or the tip? And why do you need a card for them to do this?

Well, at least they offer a pregnancy test just in case they cut off the wrong end.

But wait. What's an "Early Result" pregnancy test that they mention? If you can find out you're pregnant six days before becoming pregnant, then I guess it presupposes they cut off the tip end?

I'm soooo confused!

Monday, January 25, 2016

Taxi Touch ‘n’ Pay

Las Vegas taxi companies are now trying to make it easier for you to pay your fare these days with talking touch screens on the back of the front passenger seat headrest.

A friendly voice advises: "If you can't see the screen, just touch the middle of the screen."

Wait ... what? If I can't see the screen. How can I aim my fingertip to its middle?

I suppose it's helpful if you want to charge the ride to a credit or debit card (the wife would have a total technophobic meltdown, however), but you have to proceed in an orderly fashion.

Nah. I'd rather just pay cash and ask for a receipt if I need one.

Besides, think of all the exotic worldwide germs thriving on the screen that came from passengers who didn't wash their hands. You're going to touch your finger to that?

Saturday, January 23, 2016

The ‘Learning Something New’ Aphorism

“Frazz,” by Jeff Mallett, is one of my favorite newspaper comic strips to read during breakfast with my morning coffee.

I especially enjoy the insights of 8-year-old Caufield, a precocious and creative thinker.
 
Recently, Caufield was talking to the strip’s principal character, school custodian Edwin “Frazz” Frazier, who remarked that Caufield wasn’t usually averse to learning something new. (Caufield had just had another run-in with his teacher, the bespeckled Mrs. Olsen.)

Caulfield noted something about a phrase that always gets on my nerves: “You learn something new every day.” I have issues with those words.

First of all, nobody learns something new every day. If we did, you’d be able to tell me what you learned the day before yesterday, the day before that, the day before that, and so on ad infinitum.
 
You can’t. So you didn’t learn something every day. You may have heard something new every day, but you certainly didn’t learn it.

Secondly, Caufield is right. Everything you learn is new. Isn’t it? You’ve never learned anything that was “old” to you. “Learn something new” is redundant.

Right? Right! I hope you learn this from this and remember it.
 

Thursday, January 21, 2016

King Street Bike Lane Boondoggle User Numbers

 
I read in Tuesday's newspaper that the latest survey by the City and County of Honolulu's Department of Transportation shows that an estimated 700 bicyclists use the King Street Bike Lane on business days.

Let's assume those are 700 unique bikers, not 350 in the morning and 350 in the afternoon.

Before the bike lane was opened in August 2014 at a cost of $100,000.00, the DOT estimated fewer than 400 bicyclists used the same route to get to and from downtown Honolulu.

Therefore, the new bike lane now benefits only 300 more commuters (an increase over nearly 2½ years) at an approximate cost to taxpayers of $333.33 per additional user. That's money you and I gave the city so the 700 bikers could breeze along nicely while we now have to deal with heavier afternoon pau hana (after-work) traffic.

I was hoping to see thousands making use of the bike lane every morning and every afternoon to make it worthwhile. But that hasn’t happened.

And, the city is planning to install bike lanes on South Street, the Ala Wai, and McCully Street soon. I wonder if they’ll make them as wide as the King Street one? I do know street parking will be severely curtailed and possibly eliminated when the new lanes go in.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the King Street Bike Lane is a boondoggle that wasted taxpayer money to benefit just a few of our fellow citizens, and it aggravates the hell out of afternoon drivers heading out of town on King Street.
 
But nobody in power seems to be listening, or to care.