Real Definitions

I get funny email. Here's a list of "real definitions" sent to me by a good friend. I don't know who thinks these things up, but they're major punsters and I applaud them for their fine efforts.

But enough talk from me. You may have seen some or all of these before, but let's get on with it:

• Adult:  Someone who's stopped growing at both ends but not in the middle.
• Beauty Parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.
• Chicken: The only animal you eat before it's born and after it's dead.
• Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
• Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
• Handkerchief: Cold storage.
• Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
• Mosquito: An insect that makes you like flies better.
• Raisin: A grape with sunburn.
• Secret: Something you tell to one person at a time.
• Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
• Toothache:  The pain that drives you to extraction.
• Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
• Wrinkles: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.
• Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.

See what I mean? And you thought I was out in left field.