Puns for Educated Minds 2

Here’s the second half of my fun puns for educated minds.

Why “educated”? Because you have to have had some education to catch the nuances of the jokes.

The wife doesn't think these are funny at all.

I don't care ... I love puns, they crack me up.

• In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes. 
• When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 
• If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine. 
• A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.” 
• Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “Dam!” 
• Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Of course, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 
• Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I've lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I'm positive.” 
• Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: Transcend dental medication. 
• There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.