Oceanography 101

I got this in email and felt an overwhelming urge to share it with you.

Children seem to know more about the ocean in their little fingers than I do in my head. Maybe I should keep these tidbits in mind the next time I have a serious conversation about oceanography:

• This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

• Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

• If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)

• Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

• A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

• My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

• When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

• Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

Hmmm, y'know, Helen, I've often wondered that myself.

(More at a later date, after I complete my online Oceanography 101 course.)