Here, Skeeter Skeeter Skeeter!

“Stinky feet could be key in killing mosquitoes” – Headline in this morning’s Honolulu Star-Advertiser

There are some people who say Bill Gates’ Microsoft products stink. That just might be.

But … did you know his Gates Foundation is helping with a product that REALLY stinks? It’s what I like to call the “Stinky Feet Save Lives Initiative" in the African nation of Tanzania (formerly known as Tanganyika).

It turns out that stinky feet – men’s stinky feet – attract mosquitoes. Lots and lots of mosquitoes. Four times as many as any other area of the body. Once that was verified, all it took was for a researcher (Fredros Okumu, by name), to concoct a magic blend of herbs and spices … oh wait, that’s KFC. I meant to say a magic blend of chemicals to replicate the odor.

Hey! This is groundbreaking and potentially life-saving, so stop laughing. Mosquitoes transmit malaria germs, and there are 220 million new cases of malaria each year. More than a third of those afflicted die; most of these are children.

The smelly concoction is used to bait traps, which kills up to 95% of the mosquitoes that enter.

Okay, now here’s something you can laugh at.

Apparently, there was this Dutch scientist named Dr. Bart Knols who first discovered that mosquitoes are attracted to stinky feet.

Wanna know how he verified this? He stood in a dark room naked, with a whole bunch of mosquitoes flying around. Dr. Knols stood there for quite a while, letting those little pesky buggers bite him wherever they were attracted to. Turns out, they favored his stinky feet.

I kid you not.

All I can say is … well, I won’t say it.