She Didn’t Talk Because … ?

So there I was, sitting quietly at the kitchen table, eating my eggs and chicken-apple sausage, sipping on my small glass of açai berry juice, occasionally taking a sip from my steaming mug of coffee, my eyes glued to the morning newspaper, reading a story about how they’ve found medical waste in runoffs from the recent heavy rains.

I just happened to look up, and there across the table was the wife, watching me intently. I returned her stare for a couple of seconds and with tacit gesture, indicated my curiosity at why she was looking at me.

Big mistake.

She started telling me how she wanted to say something but didn’t want to disturb my reading because she knows I don’t like to be interrupted so she decided to just wait for a more opportune moment when she could ask me about something that required my input and so she was waiting and waiting and that she remembered the last time that blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.

After a couple of minutes (literally, because I could see the kitchen clock behind her), I put up my hand and stopped her. I asked her what she needed me to say, took care of it in three words, and then went back to my breakfast and reading.

Now, reflecting on what happened, it’s cracking me up. Why? Because the wife spent two minutes talking about why she didn’t want to talk.

That’s hilarious, is it not?