A Johnny Shock

See, there was this woman sitting on the throne when something happened that almost scared the crap out of her.

Right in the middle of doing her business, she looked up and saw … a clown. Yep, a clown. More precisely, a man wearing a clown mask and wielding a knife.

The 70-year-old Akron, Ohio, woman – Jacqueline Cutright – told police that the man, later identified as 20-year-old Cory Buckley, had entered her house through a basement window.

After their … er … unpleasant two-hour encounter, Buckley fled the scene with $28 in cash, about $1,000 in costume jewelry, and her Ford Escort. But as a crook (and a driver), Buckley stunk. He crashed the car and after crawling out a window, confessed what he had done.

According to Ms. Cutright, she “thought about doing ninja stuff to him,” but having second thoughts, just “sat there on the lid.” I think she should have stood up and let the toilet fumes overpower the guy.

I kid you not!