Whales Take the Offensive

Betcha didn’t know that whales, like humans, can have bad breath.

It’s true. First-hand field observations (smellervations?) have been reported in the local newspaper that whales have halitosis. Or should we call it “whalitosis”?

We all know our bodies and breaths smell like garlic the day after we consume it, just as our bathroom excursions leave an odor of asparagus behind.

We are, after all, what we eat. So why can’t whales be that way too … right?

Some whales’ spumes are extraordinarily stinky. Like the minke whale. Its whalitosis is so bad that it’s been nicknamed the “stinky minke.” And the so-called “right whale” isn’t that right; they smell (according to whale book author Philip Hoare) “somewhere between a cow’s fart and a fishy wharf.” (I don’t want to know how he researched the smell of a cow’s fart.)

Ocean writer Susan Scott, writing about gray whale breath, finds a silver lining in all of this, noting that if you can smell the gray’s whalitosis, it just means your boat is too close to it and you need to back off.

Care for a Certs?